Marriage: an unnecessary burden?

MARRIAGE: An unnecessary burden?

Marriage is God’s idea for a man and woman to come together and be united. His expectation is that there will be companionship, fellowship and procreation. Genesis 2:18 NKJ “And the Lord God said, it is not good that the man should be alone: I will make him a help meet for him”.

God recognizes that loneliness will set in regardless of your achievements; academic, career as well as ministry.  There comes a time when all your pursuits and accumulation of material wealth weary you when you do not have a soulmate to share it with.  God’s idea of marriage is that a man and a woman will come together and be one in body, spirit and soul in the union of marriage. It is meant for two individuals (no third parties!) Genesis 2:24 NKJV “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother and shall cleave unto his wife:and they shall be one flesh”.

What obtains these days in the world and even among Christians shows that we have lost focus of what God had in mind when He established the institution of marriage. It is not meant to be a burden that ties you down, once you are in it, you cannot escape! No, it is meant to be an institution that you enter into with the utmost preparation knowing that you will put in work to make it work.  You are expected to be selfless and not look out for your own personal gain alone but look out for what will make you both happy.

Marriage is a major decision that should not just be made based on temporal things such as looks, material possessions or feelings alone. I say alone because these are important in deciding who to marry as well. Not too many of us are attracted to people that are not particularly comely. (You sometimes have 10 brothers within a fellowship ‘receiving’ the same beautiful and talented sister all at the same time! God is not an author of confusion) However, having been married my self for a few years; I have come to realize that good as these qualities may be, they could be the bane of a marriage relationship if it the foundation is not right.

What should be the most important thing in place before I can decide to marry a person? In a Christian marriage relationship, a personal relationship with the Lord Jesus is key and most important.  There is a need to be on the same page and have the same reference point with a man or woman you intend to spend the rest of your life with. I know this often present a challenge in a world full of deceit and lies. Be that as it may, God is in the business of leading His own. 

Prospect is another key thing; does this man or woman have prospects? What does that mean? Prospect is defined as “a probability of advancement, success or profit”. In our context, does that individual who is jobless today have the prospect of getting a job and having a bright future? Does that lady who comes from a struggling background have the probability of increasing business-wise years ahead? Prospect is not limited to profit making but it answers to looking forward and perceiving a positive result ahead.

Character is possessing qualities of honesty, integrity and courage. A man as well as a woman requires this in order to have a lasting marriage relationship.