Back to the familiar?

I went to pick the mails and it was a huge pile. I sorted the bills from the flyers and I had just one card in the big pile that was a birthday card. I got home and placed the bills on the fireplace totally unsure where to turn my eyes, mind and thoughts. I have looked severally to the mountains, hills and everywhere, no help seems to be forthcoming. I am seriously thinking of other ways of making things work. If others are systematically committing fraud and by so doing making ends meet, maybe I should try at least until this siege is over... I came here with a degree in Economics and I have completed my Masters degree in same yet, it is from one entry level,menial job to another. I pay my tithes and it is almost insulting to listen every time to people share their testimonies about how they were considered for positions they were not qualified for...

We finished a three day fasting and praying program specifically for women trusting God for the fruit of the womb and the visiting pastor said, "go home, anoint your bed and God will do what He alone can do". It has been about a month since then and I just got my period again. I am so tempted to "help" myself and put an end to this ridicule...

The brother who had asked me for sex before marriage and I said no, is getting married to a sister in the church!. Can you imagine how that hurts? So does that mean this sister gave in or am I being foolish? Maybe I should have just done what everyone does to get answers and free myself from frustration and misery. I think am taking things too seriously and perhaps I should just do what Romans do since I live in Rome. It is either the other sister gave in to his request or something is wrong with me...

I have pledged and sowed just because I want God to touch this wayward, wandering man I call my husband. He seems to be getting worse with every act of faith I display, if he is not hitting me, he is ridiculing me before our friends. I have made up my mind to "take care of things" and everyone will hear at that time...

It is hard not to revert to what you are familiar with when faced with a difficult situation. The Patriarchs of old had their own challenges and we learn from each one about how they handled their peculiar situations. Let us consider John 21: 2-4 KJV

"There were together Simon Peter, and Thomas called Didymus, and Nathanael of Cana in Galilee, and the sons of Zebedee, and two other of his disciples.
³ Simon Peter saith unto them, I go a fishing. They say unto him, We also go with thee. They went forth, and entered into a ship immediately; and that night they caught nothing.
⁴ But when the morning was now come, Jesus stood on the shore: but the disciples knew not that it was Jesus".

Simon Peter, Jesus' right hand man, bold, courageous, willing to stand by the master in the face of challenge went back to the familiar. He was a fisher man when Jesus met him and perhaps he was expecting things to continue just the way they were when Jesus was around but life had become boring, no Jesus, miracle, influence or aura of the Lord Jesus, they were no longer invited to places where they were regarded as celebrities (Wedding in Cana of Galilee), as a matter of fact, the Pharisees were out for their heads and throats...Peter the rock, reverted back to human nature, solution and way of taking care of things. He went back fishing but the result was still the same; nothing, emptiness, failure...that is always the result when we go back to sort spiritual dilemma through human ability.

Since I do not know your situation and what you have been up against, it will be totally wrong to assume anything about your situation. However, I have a Father, a God who knows all things and He has not changed, He knows your name, He sees and cares and He wants you to trust Him once more.

May this new month bring about wholeness and completeness in all areas where you are tempted to help God or revert back to the familiar.

Blessings.