When I was a Child...

There are certain things that children do and we can not but 'coo' at the sight of such. They make funny faces, eat with food all over their faces with a big disarming smile. Children dance without any bashfulness and it does not matter whether it goes with the rhythm or not, they laugh at the silliest of jokes and merely watching them crack you up as an adult. Then they get to the face of 'ITK" I too know, when you hardly can make sense around them because they know everything. There are the teenage years gbrrrrrr! 'the scary and selfish years" when parents wonder what happened to their sons/daughters and ask themselves secretly where their children disappeared to.

When maturity comes, those children learn to hear other people's view, dialogue, converse, brainstorm, work as a team. We all go through the different phases of metarmophosis in our relationships especially a marriage relationship. Courtship days are meant for sweet nothings when everything the other party does is amusing, cute, loving and sweet. Then you get married and you wonder what happened to the fine, gentleman or lady that you married. It is all about metamorphosis, evolving.

1 Corinthians 13:11 NKJV
"When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things".

When I looked closely at this verse; I asked myself a few questions;
=>In what way do I speak as a child to my spouse; trying to hurt with my words because I have been hurt, trying to have my way, to please myself and just be the focus and centre of attention all the time?
=>In what way do I understand everything he says and does as a child; children are the most selfish beings; they cry when they are hungry, wet, uncomfortable or just want to have things their way. Some would scream and through tantrum. Do you do any of these in your marriage relationship?
=>In what way do I think as a child, short term, parochial, indulgent and wanting convinience, subject to peer pressure and comparison (wish our house could be as big as the Jones')
=>Do I need to grow up and become a man, in certain cultures a man is expected to be stoic and not overly emotional, should I answer my wife everytime she nags or complains? Should I give her the silent treatment to straighten her out? I guess all these amount to childish ways, they need to be put away.

Around valentine's day, I wrote about 'Maturing in Love'. Perhaps it is time to work towards maturity as oppossed to whining to have things our way in our relationship. Instead of fighting or nagging, can you sleep over issues and find a way of presenting them nicely? It will not hurt if you allow your spouse to take certain decisions as long as they are not a matter of life and death. Yes, you are a perfectionist, you have a picture of how things should be, you are a great manager but peoople who are not need to learn.

Have you impacted your spouse positively in any way? She is a spendthrift, have you ever tried to give your spouse financial responsibility around the house so she too can acquire some skills? Not until we leave chidish ways, we will continue to rub each other the wrong way. It is time to grow up and attain maturity.

Blessings!