| I watched Mummy packed all her things and I stopped pleading with her not to leave. I said; "Mummy, I can not afford to have you leave in annoyance, please what do you want me to do?" She ignored me and continued packing her things. Mummy, I will go and fight Delanke over what happened if that will make you happy... She turned around sharply and faced me with both hands raised as if to say I surrender; my darling son, you have been a source of blessing to me and I could not have asked for anyone better. God used you to wipe away my tears and give me beauty for ashes. All that I thought I had lost I have gotten back. I have also seen God answer my prayers by establishing and promoting you. You are married and you have a child, all these add to the icing on my cake for which I always thank God. How can I now be an instrument of destruction and pull down what God has built for you? I can never wish you evil, I was just being human...I can not live your life , I will go home and visit when necessary. Mummy, thank you so much, the driver will take you home tomorrow, I prostrated to show my appreciation for her understanding. By the time I left her room, I discovered we had been talking for about three hours! I went into our bedroom and apologised to my wife, begging and appealing to her, holding her in an embrace. She had been crying for a couple of hours as her eyes were very red. Please let me be, what else am I suppossed to do? She asked rhetorically, fresh tears streaming down her cheeks. I love your mother and treat her the same way I would mine, how come I can never do anything right as far as she is concerned? It is as if she is out to find faults with all that I do. She said I will die by fire, by thunder...shhhh! Darling, no one is going to die, please I know I have hurt you, I take responsibility for all that Mummy has put you through in the last few months, Delanke, she did not mean any harm, I hate to see you cry, I promise all this mess will get sorted out. I can not choose between you and my mother, you are the two pillars that hold my life. I cannot forget in a hurry the pivotal role Mummy played to get me to where I am. I am forever grateful to her, however, you are my wife, my friend, I am expected to leave and cleave to you... Baby, the reality of Genesis 2:24 just hit me for the first time in my life. Gen. 2:24 NKJV "Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife and they shall become one flesh". Mummy is leaving tomorrow but if it is ok with you, can we have a short meeting just to resolve this? I held Delanke's hands, looked straight into her eyes, I saw the worry, sadness and doubts, do not feel pressured if you need some time to sort your thoughts out. Delanke rested her head on my shoulder and reassured me; "I am fine sweetheart". We went into the sitting room where Mummy was sitting folding our son's clothes. We would like to have a word with you if that is ok I said. Sure, Mummy responded putting the pile of folded clothes in the laundry basket. Mummy, I started, if Delanke has offended you by anything she said please forgive us. I prostrated again and Delanke knelt beside me. My mother started crying and said "It is all over". Please forgive me too, living together gives room for assumption, presumption as well as over familiarity. Delanke, you are my daughter and the mother of my grandchildren, I love you dearly and would want you to forgive me too. Sometimes it could be difficult sharing someone you love, there is no way I can do what you do for my son because he is your husband, I almost got jealous and became afraid that I was loosing him to you... No! Mummy, Delanke said feeling very overwhelmed by "Grandmas' vulnerability. He is yours and will always be yours. It has been a delight and joy to have Fowope as my husband. You raised a responsibile gentleman! God forbid that I should take him from you. Mummy hugged Delanke and patted my back. We had a wonderful family devotion that night and I slept peacefully afterwards, a huge load off my heart. Mummy returned back home the following morning but she visits every quarter as well as during festive periods, we also go to see her with her grandson periodically. Thank God for helping us avert a great destruction! (The End). To as many Fowopes, Delankes and Grandmas out there, may God grant you wisdom to untangle every knotty situation that rocks the foundation of your home in Jesus name. To women whose mothers-in-law are a pain in their necks; have you tried to figure out what your MIL's (Mother-In-Law)issues are? Have you checked your attitude and dispostion towards your MIL? It is true you can not appease the devil perhasp she is not a devil but just looking for assurance and security. If you belong to the class of women who wish their MILs dead, remember you too are a woman and per chance you have a son... What goes around comes around. Every woman who has laboured over their children deserve to enjoy the fruits of their labour. That is where wisdom is key.You need your husband on your side to win in a case against his mother! You can not paint his mother black, call her a witch and yet expect him to be there for you when in-law violence arises! Do all you need to do in relating well with your MIL. Ask God to touch your husband's heart, open his eyes and grant him wisdom to set boundaries appropriately. Do not attempt to alienate your husband from his family. Grandmas, you cannot live your life through your children's, you did not have it easy as a daugther-in-law... does that mean your own daughter in law should go through hell? Are you always finding faults and comparing your life with hers. Please move on! Pray for them and see God bring joy to your own life. May you find fulfillment, may God's grace be available for you to look and relate beyond your hurt. Your joy will continue to be full over your offsprings in Jesus name. Husbands, God has placed you in charge! Whether as son or husband you play a key role in ensuring peace between your mother and wife. Trust God for wisdom to strike a balance, never allow your emotions to override your ability to reason according to the word of God. God has set up human beings to have relationships with one another. He also commands a blessing where we work towards unity (Ps. 133:1) Blessings, Thanks for everyone who sent in comments about this, God will grant us wisdom to handle sensitive situations in our homes in Jesus name. | 
Here are a few comments to the story:
ReplyDeleteMy thots exactly were:
i. Mummy has to leave, she cannot stay with them indefinitely. Like a lady I know said when asked why her mother left so quickly (her own mother) "I can only take those Grandmas in small doses". Mummy has to leave and come back for periodic visits; before the euphoria fades out she is on her way back, this way she is looking forward to every opportunity to visit.
ii) She should not leave in anger; they should sort things out so she leave on a peaceful note.
iii) Ajasa (or what's his name) should boldly step up to the plate and draw the lines in the sand i.e. let Mummy know her place and let Delanke know hers so no one person oversteps their boundaries. Reminds me of a sis-in-law who tells the brother's wife "you are leaving this house"!. Bro had to tell her as much as he loved his sister "she is not going anywhere, she is my wife".
Another person said, Fowope should play the fool between both women.
Thanks for all your comments and contributions.