UNDEFINED

As he walked me through the dark path leading to my house, we talked and laughed and I felt this closeness to him that I have never felt towards any guy... it was just so romantic; the serenity of the environment, the moonlight, you know the kind you read about in romantic novels? We did not hold hands but I wish he could just hold my hand. We talked about everything, my siblings, his siblings, our challenges and our hearts felt like one. What do I call this?

We are very good friends, we read together, enjoy each others company, he knows all my siblings and I know all his, our friends see us as an item but... he had never said anything about a relationship! I guess I am assuming if I think there is anything between us, but I do not see him being this close to any other girl, so I must be special. Besides, he calls me beloved, and I asked him if I could call him mine… his response, you are free to call me whatever your heart pleases or what you think I am to you. I felt I was on cloud 16! I call him MINE.
How can I ask him what is between us now without appearing to be mounting pressure? A lot of my friends see us together everywhere and ask me about him and he would always give me messages from his friends as well. I cook for him because I know he would always come to visit at the end of the day. He tells me how his day went and I tell him about mine. I enjoy watching him eat and he is always appreciative of whatever I serve him... How do I explain this madness to anyone?

Can anyone relate to this? You clean, cook, perform the duties of a wife when the man has not asked you out or proposed to you, you are on the verge of breaking your heart into pieces. When a guys talks to you about things that should be shared between lovers or people in a committed relationship and he just assumes a role you can not eloquently define, then you need to sit down and have a straight and frank talk with him. A lot of times sisters shy away from asking what a relationship is about, you are better of doing that before a handshake becomes a hug...

I know of a brother and sister who were always together, walking, talking, fellowshipping and going out to functions and so on. Everyone else who saw them assumed they were courting but the brother showed up one day and told the sister "you know everything about me, about my family and my future plans. There is this special person I would want you to meet. This is the person God is leading me to marry". The sister almost dropped to the floor, but she put herself together and managed a smile as well as played along. What do you expect this individual to do? She accepted and allowed the "Special person" sleep in her room till the following day.

How many sisters are being 'used' just because they think this Brother A might be Mr Right and they have to 'behave' like a virtuous woman? Before you start any unsolicited interior decoration in a man’s apartment, know that he has formally proposed to you and that you have sought the face of the Lord about going into a relationship. You can wash his clothes and even go to his parents house to carry out cleaning duties, that will not force him to marry you. Little wonder ladies are mistreated when they eventually ‘struggle’ to become a man’s MRS.

Have you considered how the bible puts it?: Prov. 18:22 “He who finds a wife, finds a good thing and obtains favour of the Lord” A man has to find you and be sure you are his wife. If you find yourself contesting for the attention of a man, then you need to go and reassess yourself and value. If you force your way to the heart of a man, how are you going to sustain your stay there? Perhaps you see a sister or woman as a ticket to your success in life, it is only a matter of time. Why must you live like a gold digger when God has beautiful promises for you. If you are a man who is struggling, you do not need to give a lady the impression that you are going to marry her just to guarantee yourself food and money.
Before you become 5& 6 with any brother or sister, be sure you have defined that relationship! You are a treasure do not cheapen your worth.
Agape!