Costly Comfort

Hello journal:

I checked my phone for the millionth time, it was my "hearthrob" texting me. He is so romantic, unbelieably so for a man his age. He calls me, texts me, picks me up from work and treats me well, calls me all sorts of sweet names, I can not believe my luck. My friends listened as I told them how lucky I am and how my life has just changed all of a sudden. My hearthrob is in his early forties, he is married but arrrggghhhh! do not get me started, I do not know how some women could be so useless, you are married to a man like that and you do not know his worth, she must have charmed him because I do not know how someone like my honeypool can marry a woman who does not know how to dress, she wears, dull looking clothes....see I could go on and on about how nasty she is. Hearthrob complains all the time about how hopeless the woman is, she is always bugging him, always nagging him,always complaining that he stays out late.

 

It is our 3month- anniversary, we have been seeing each other for three months and I have been having a time of my life, the attention, gifts and admiration. It is so hard to find such a sweet man, a lot of my friends say good men are hard to find these days. I think I am one of the lucky few. We are going to play cross word puzzles today, I have ordered food from a nice caterer, I am picking up a few bottles of wine, it is going to be our time together, there will be no need to invite anyone. When you are in love, the feeling is so indescribable!

 

 

The other day, my hearthrob blindfolded me at the entrance of this lovely building and he took me to a nicely furnished apartment and oh my goodness! It was so nice and kind of him. I have moved in there and we spend time there together planning our future. I work in a bank, he got me the job through one of his friends. He said, I am everything he wants in a woman, sophisticated, daring, beautiful and of course sexy! He is planning to leave his wife but I am not really ready to commit to a relationship. I just love the way things are; we eat out, plan every evening or sometimes invite a few of our friends over and have a nice time. My hearthrob also loves me because I dance, I taught him some new moves and we just do the silliest things together.

 

Sweetheart came in late to pick me up, he said he was in a meeting with his business associates and the meeting dragged on longer than he anticipated. I sat in the foyer and waited for an hour, I was seriously upset and told him I was going to call a cab. He started apologizing and promised me a treat to make up for his lateness. He arrived and kissed me and gently blew air into my ear. He calls me his Queen, I feel so spoilt. We take pictures when we go to the beach, there is this game we play, he pretends to catch me and I fall in the sand for him to lift me up. What can I say, my life is good. I am seriously considering having a child for him. On a second thought, no...no strings attached just in case I need to flee!

 

Rog-bie (his name is Aderogba) met Mum at my place today. My Mum was surprised that he was much older than I am. I tell her everything about myself and so all this while she thought he probably was around the same age as I am. He greeted my Mum and gave her a wad of cash when he was leaving. Mum appreciated him for the way he has been taking care of me. She asked me if he was married, I told her he is planning to leave his wife. Mummy said I should be careful so I do not get into trouble, what trouble? That woman does not stand a chance where I am concerned. I decide what happens with this man, I have him wrapped around my finger. Mummy did not object, she wishes me all the good things in life. See my older sister is married, to a guy around her age, men, talk about hustling and struggling! I have always loved the good things of life and I know how to take care of myself.

 

Picnic at the beach, picking shells, watching the waves, singing, what a joy! Falling in love and having a solid financial base, priceless! Honey's phone is always on vibrate so we can focus, he hardly picks up his call but he picked it up as he headed towards the shed by the beach. "speaking, how may I help you?" he responded, "I am out of town and I can not get to Lagos today, I will be in tomorrow morning". He looked upset, "I wonder how they got this number", he whined. I know how to touch the softest cord in his heart, I placed my well manicured hand on his chest as I gently rubbed it, "what is the matter honey"? I asked as I searched his face for a clue. "Someone just called me from a hospital about my wife, I do not even know how they got the number" he concluded. "My Rogbie, she is the mother of your children, I do not like the way you get upset when she is mentioned, we do not want anything to happen to her, what is the situation of things now?" "I need to go see her in the morning at the hospital" he added.

 

My head is racing and I am really upset that this foolish woman has cut short my fun, she is so foolish that she has to fall sick on a day we are chilling at the beach! As we drove back from the beach, we picked up fruits from this fruit depot, they sell the freshest and the best. I stepped out beside my beau and he had his hand around my waist as I selected the fruits we wanted, out of no where someone said; "Uncle Rogba"! Rogbie turned around and from the look on his face I knew there was trouble. "I thought they said you were out of town, your wife is sick and she is on admission at Eko General hospital" she said with a look that said a million things. She turned to me and gave me a look that could freeze over a boiling pot of water. I turned my head in the opposite direction, "she is just a mad woman" I consoled myself quietly.

 

Rogbie muttered some incoherent sentences to defend himself. We briskly finished our shopping and left the place. I was upset that Rogbie was not bold enough to let the whole world know how he truly feels about me. He tells me all these good things when we are alone but he could not tell that mad woman I am his Queen. Who cares about his useless wife, for all I care, she can die. The earlier she dies the better and I will be free to do what I really want to do. Rogbie drove me to a boutique at the corner of my apartment, "honey would you want to pick something for tonight" he asked. "No, I do not want anything, all I want is for you to be able to tell people who I am to you" I snapped. "Queen, you are the one causing the delay, you are not willing to commit to me long term, if you are ready, I am done with this woman, she can die for all I care. You are my love, my friend, you make me happy, you turn me on, you are every woman"! He pulled up in front of the boutique and I got some nice lingerie and a nice Dourney & Bourke hand bag. Life is good!

 

Jeremiah 17:11 NIV puts your escapade like this;

 

"Like a partridge that hatches eggs it did not lay
    are those who gain riches by unjust means.
When their lives are half gone, their riches will desert them,
    and in the end they will prove to be fools"

Hmmm, is it really?....What makes life good for you is what makes life hell for another woman...the man you have captured, who is your friend has become his wife's arch enemy. Your perceived perfection makes his wife worthless and unable to do anything right in his sight. The same man who puts his head on your lap and you rub his chest with your well manicured hand would not want to touch his wife with a stick once he leaves your 'apartment'. The same man who buys everything you want and tells you sweet things cuts his children's fees just to spite his wife. That same man who whispers into your ear is like a wounded lion when he gets home, he roars at his wife and children because he has to go home at night.

 

The same man who laughs at every idiotic utterance you make fumes and boils for no reason just because he wants to make his wife uncomfortable and guilty for what you both do. You are smart, beautiful and sexy, he has no patience for his wife, he calls her when he wants to have sex and it does not matter whether she is tired or not, he wants what he wants when he wants it. You tame him, order him and show him you are tough that is because he has chosen to be a dog, you will do yourself a lot of favour if you let go of his leash, let him go back to his wife and children so they can enjoy him.

 

The longer he stays with you the less time he gets to stay with the woman he vowed "for better for worse to". He calls you all the good names and calls her all the nasty names. That woman treats him like a king, preparing his food but he always has complaints because the man has eaten "isi ewu", "ikobi", chinese food and has been to all the hottest joints in town with you. He despises that woman, not because she is not beautiful but because she has chosen to be a real woman. The more he spends on you the less he is able to give her for the children and family upkeep. The same man who knows how to be kind, gentle and sweet with you has been hard to get, he has refused to go on vacation with his family not because he can not afford it but because you hold the key to making him happy. You cushion him and cater to his lust and rob his family the joy of spending time with him.

 

She does not ask him anything, he gives you everything thanks to your "splitting" and "stripping" skills. You can not be bothered you say, every night that man stays at your place, his wife spends hours balling her eyes out, wondering where and how she missed it. The same man who goes picnicking with you will not spend anytime alone with his wife because you have gotten his attention. Any woman can do the things you if they do not have to commit, devote, love unconditionally the way you go about parading pefection with no strings attaached. A real woman is a home maker, she knows the man's strength and she has built him up before you come along to have an affair with him. You know what he likes and what to say, that is because you can not commit, you have time for frivolities and you will be quick to flee at the earliest sign of trouble.

 

You can not commit to a man or relationship but you go about like a raven, picking and pecking other people's husbands. You will not be a lady for ever! A time will come when you will want to commit so you can have company and a true friend, then, harvest will be on to you, life will give back to you in full measure what you have sowed unto it. Harsh? Hardly, that is the truth of the matter for every woman who chooses to comfort another woman's husband. If you do not harbour him, give listening ears or warm him up, he will have little or no choice than to go back to his wife. You know how to talk to him, press his button and perform well. It is a matter of time, you will some day look back on these days you call blissful and weep if you do not stop and repent.

 

It is easier if you have not heard about the word of God, you stand a good chance at excusing yourself. However, if you attend church and claim to be born again, yet you are on to attrocities, from the many things we have heard and seen, we do not need to be prophets before we predict your end. Accept the mercy of God and repent of your destructive ways. Do not have an affair with another woman's husband, it is costly to have you comfort another woman's husband, the cost is physical, emotional and psychological. The cost is too expensive, you may just have to pay with your own future...think about that.