Listening Ears

Listening is one of the hardest things to do. When someone is telling you something interesting, if you have not disciplined yourself enough; you are thinking of how to give the right response, if you are not interested in what they are saying, you might tune them out. Worse still, you might just mount a judgement throne, condeming them right off the bat regardless of whatever it is they are talking to you about. Is it any wonder why it is so easy to get drawn to those who are willing to listen to us whether we are complaining, pouring our hearts or generally whining?   I could give a dozen examples about how you can listen to someone and not hear a single word of what they say. For example, I came home from work one evening and I was totally spent, my daughter who was totally oblivious to how tired I was, started telling me about her day and what she had been up to and so on. I kept on responding with "yeah, really", you can not go wrong with such responses eh. I then absent mindedly said "great" and she she asked "why would you say great to that Mummy"? I knew I was in trouble because I did not even hear what she said....I had to think quickly how to rectify the situation without allowing her to realize I was not paying attention. "I meant why dear", I quickly corrected myself but that jolted me back to consciousness. That was a young girl who was having a "Mum-daughter time". She would have been hurt if she found that I was not present with her.   How many times are you present with your spouse when he/she wants to speak with you? Are you always busy, tired, disinterested or judgemental about what he/she has to say? A man has his fears and struggles, it takes caring ears to catch such. "He never mentioned that to me", that is probably because you were not taking cues from the things he was talking about... A woman has things that bother her, which do not always have to do with fashion, sales or gossip. You will never know if you do not attempt to listen. How many men have affairs because they find a woman who is willing to provide listening and compassionate ears? If a man has an affair because his wife is not listening, then he had intentions of having an affair you say. Yes, perhaps that is true, it is not necessarily the case that everyone who has an affair has a wife who was unwilling to listen to them at home or hubby who has failed to provide listening ears.   Why would you allow any other person be the ones to provide the care you are suppossed to give your spouse? That individual at work, who spends at least 8hours with him/her and has over time become their listening ears will take it a step further and provide emotional support as well. So before you know it, you will be struggling to have him/her back because you created the vacancy that just got filled!  Have you also noticed that when you are able to pour your heart to someone, they gain your trust and in no time you will be confident to share really deep concerns, ideas and thoughts with them?   Be an active listener, be a present partner! Do not allow someone else take your rightful place due to carelessness. Have a blessed day and a great weekend ahead.   Blessings.