Wednesday, 6 February 2013

Times & Seasons

I do not know too much about agriculture, however, after years of observation, I can safely make some statements that seasoned farmers can affirm, "There are different seasons for different crops". One season prepares the ground for the performance of the other. I live in an environment where we experience four seasons. There is winter, spring, summer and fall or autumn. We all differ in our preferences of these seasons, winter is the longest of all the seasons and it is very cold, crisp and requires you wearing layers and layers of clothes to keep warm. Whenever we get a break from the harshness of the cold, we celebrate and let down our guards, we wear fewer layers and the very bold ones almost walk around naked...

Each season has its own purpose; winter prepares the ground for the next season, it kills all the organisms that can affect plants and without winter, the grapes will be useless and there will be no wine production. Never mind the other socio economic benefits of winter to recreation and tourism. Just before you get bored with agriculture studies, God speaks to us through virtually everything around us...

Ourlives have their times and seasons! Sincerely, I wish I did not have to go though the rigours of school, I wish I did not have to learn how to handle life through growing up and some other experiences I have been through. I have been disappointed and used by friends, I have learned harshly that life does not give you what you deserve but most of the time what you decide through determination and effort that have divine blessings from God. The way up is at the bottom of the ladder even though I see way too many people hopping, jumping and catching the ladder half way... Life is full of lessons and tests, if you do not pass one class you can not get to the other. Your mates will leave you behind as long as the lessons do not stick. Patience, self control, kindness, joy, they are the fruit of the spirit and they are the same element you are required as you go through every harsh, challenging and frustrating seasons of your life.

Your sowing or seed time may seem challenging, but that is what will lead to harvest, if there are no raining season, the hot weather can cause too much damage. The night will yield to day, because no matter how dark it gets, the day will still break. Do not always wish away any season, make the most of it and keep their lessons for when times will call for them, make no mistake, times do call for the lessons of our seasons.

Genesis 8:22 NKJV

"While the earth remains, seed time and harvest, and cold and heat, and summer and winter, and day and night shall not cease"

You and I may wish them away all we want, but times and seasons are bound to be constant phenomenon as long as we live on this terra firma. Be prepared for every season, dressing appropriately through the word of God for its challenges and you will complain less. Do not always focus on the disadvantage of your season, because the advantage is preparing you for a better season. Be like the children of Issachar, covet understanding of times and season and you will be a step ahead of the enemy. The times and seasons we are in is for advancement and elevation, ensure you key in through prayers, you will then see how you will experience signs and wonders.
 
Agape!





Friday, 25 January 2013

Do you wonder how God works? I do too, Peter wanted to make Jesus feel great, he rebuked him sharply when Jesus talked about fulfilling His mission here on earth...Matthew 16:21-23 The Message
 
21-22 Then Jesus made it clear to his disciples that it was now necessary for him to go to Jerusalem, submit to an ordeal of suffering at the hands of the religious leaders, be killed, and then on the third day be raised up alive. Peter took him in hand, protesting, “Impossible, Master! That can never be!”
23 But Jesus didn’t swerve. “Peter, get out of my way. Satan, get lost. You have no idea how God works.”

How does God work?
 
 
 
He says:
  •  Let the weak say I am strong
  • Let the poor say I am rich
  • The way up is down - humility    Phil.2:11
  • When you give you increase      Prov.11:24a
  • When you withhold you tend to poverty Prov.11:24b
  • Labour not to be rich Prov.23:4
  • I loved you while you were yet a sinner
  • The captain of our salvation was made perfect through suffering  Heb. 2:13
  • Self sacrifice is His way for you to find youreself, your true self   Mt.16:25
  • I raise men from the dung and set them on thrones to keep company of princes 1 Sam.2:8
  • The race is not to the swift but the helped Ecc.9:11
  • The battle is not to the strong but the favoured Ecc9:11
 
Lord, let me humbly learn how you work by walking with you. I know then, your Way will work for me and in my favour.
 

Sunday, 20 January 2013

Perfect Wife

I sat across from her on the sofa, her eyes were swollen and they looked tired from crying, she threw her hands up in defeat, "I am tired, I have tried my best and it seems it is not good enough. What else am I suppossed to do? Is he not a Christian too, why should I be the one giving up this and that?" She asked. Well, you may never understand what am going through, when you try and try to be a virtuous woman and there are always complaints, I feel so frustrated, but you are a perfect wife!" She concluded totally avoiding any eye contact.
 
I placed my hand on her shoulder and looked straight into her eyes, am sure my next statement shocked her, "if anyone tells you they are perfect, they are lying to you. If my husband tells you I am perfect, it is just a positive confession. We all have issues and we all having some aspects of ourlives that we are working on" She looked up as if to ask "really?" then she continued talking,  "I see how you and your husband relate, you are always smiling, joking and teasing each other, you guys have this wonderful chemistry and he is always willing to help you with everything. I remember the last time I came to your house, he was busy doing laundry upstairs, mine never helps out with anything, rather he complains about what I do not do, the ones I do, I dont do right" she turned towards the window with her face forming into a frown. I got up to sit close to her and started; "It has not always been like that my darling sister, we too have gone through the PROCESS of understanding each other because it is a process, I will share a few things with you if you do not mind" I said as I sat beside her, holding her hand.
 
My husband and I never used to agree on anything, even the smallest of things; cooking, cleaning, driving just about anything that involved both of us. I was worried and he too was, because we thought we were sure God had led us one to the other. How come we are almost unable to see eye to eye over everything? After a whole year of arguments, strife and quarells, we saw that we were not getting anywhere rather we missed out on quite a number of blessings because of strife. We sat down to agree on what we wanted in our relationship, there was no doubt in either of our minds that we still love ourselves. My huband asked me to list the things that upset me about him, he wrote them down without any interruption, he also mentioned the things that upset him about me and I wrote them down as well. We then categorized them as: communication, interpersonal and organizational.We made up our minds to work out our differences and be willing to make our marriage work.
 
Under communication we spoke about the following:
Never assume the other party knows what is going on in your mind. Sometimes I expect him to understand and associate things. For example, we both know we are out of laundry detergents and I mention a store is having detergent sale, he should understand that means let us go to that store. He would argue that I did not say it and there was no way he could have guessed what my thought was.
 
Always communicate change in plan. You mentioned you were going to point A, then circumstances beyond your control necessitated a change to go to point B, do not keep him wondering, text, call or get the message across that things have changed.
 
Be specific about your expectations. Your husband gets home ahead of you and you expect him to thaw a frozen item, tell him. Dont expect him to know.
 
Undue comparison, never compare me with your sister, mother any other respected female figure. I am unique, you are married to me and not that person, lets have our own rules in our own home. I told him I will never compare him with Pastor or one of my respected brothers-in-the-Lord from my university days.
 
We also spoke about respectful utterance, there will be no name calling, if you require me to do you a favour, do communicate it respectfully and appropriately. He mentioned the fact that my words slice him and anytime I criticize him sharply, it affects the way he sees himself.
 
Interpersonal
=>Be willing to give the other party benefit of doubt
=>We can not all squeeze the toothpaste from the bottom
=>Understand that I was raised differently from you and our backgrounds play a key role in how we react and do things
=>Friends that will not promote our progress have to be dropped
=>Do not force relationships, ideas or plans down my throat
=>We both have to make decisions, our contributions both matter
 
Organizational
=> Finances
 
 
These were some of the things we had to work on and it took some time but it has paid off on the long run. It is never too late to start afresh. Never assume someone else is better than you or perfect. They have their own short comings but have learnt how to navigage the rough waters. It does not matter how your friend portrays her own home, work on yours and make sure you always talk things over with your spouse. If you shut the door of communication, how do you hear what the other party is saying?. There are so many problems that stem from assumption, never assume anything.
 
Amina looked up and gave me a hug, "I feel much better and I feel empowered to try again". "You are most welcome darling" I responded as I gave her a big hug and said, "failure is not an option, you can do it"... as she got up to leave she had a bashful look, one more thing, she said. "sure what is it?" "one of the reasons why I really loved my husband when we were courting was because he could control himself, he never pressured me for premarital sex, however, these days, I wonder if that is the only thing he thinks about" she giggled. I giggled too and said, "do you want us to talk about that the next time we get together?" "Yesssoooo", she purred. "Sure, we can go over and have coffee at Tim's, make sure you tell your hubby and be ready, we are not going to rush our conversation on how to make you and your man happy!" SEX is an interesting topic...
 
How come everyone gets smiling and gigly anytime we talk about SEX?
 
To be continued...

Friday, 18 January 2013

Toxicity

Toxicity: relates to poison, it means to be poisonous. Introduction of poison directly or indirectly makes human life vulnerable. Food poisoning sometimes is a result of mishandling of food - unintentional harm.

Our mouths through our speech or conversation, looks and body language could be toxic!
James 1:19-21 The Message: "Post this at all... the intersections, dear friends: Lead with your ears, follow up with your tongue, and let anger straggle along in the rear. God's righteousness doesn't grow from human anger. So throw all spoiled virtue and cancerous evil in the garbage.
 In simple humility, let our gardener, God, landscape you with the Word, making a salvation-garden of your life".

There is also systemic poisoning which comes from retention of items; some of these items were meant for hygiene purposes for starters. What am I getting at? There are times we start out meaning well but our intentions get polluted and become toxic. How often do we exhibit toxicity in our relationships? Relationship here is not limited to marital, but every other form of relationship we form as sibling, friend, child, spouse, in-law, brethren etc. A question that the Lord had laid on my mind a couple of days ago since He dropped this topic in my heart is: "what way do I bring poison or toxicity to my relationships"? I mentioned retention earlier, unforgiveness is like cancer that blinds and hinders progress in everyway, spring up unwanted cells everywhere to the detriment of normal cell growth. Holding grudges and refusing to let go of hurts.

 The following also bring toxicity to our relationships:
=>Fault finding: ability to always identify what is wrong or defective in others.
=>Unhealthy rivalry: competing with others for what God is doing in their lives, it has an element of jealousy, envy and unnecessary competition.
 =>Discounting what others are doing maybe because you are unable to do same, discounting what others are doing with sayings such as; "who can't do that", what is the big deal? especially laudable ideas. =>Inability to celebrate the good in others or complement them. Has your friend just been promoted at work? Are you happy or do you make her feel bad everytime by reminding her that "since your level has changed you barely have time for us" and such statements that puts the other on the defensive.?

Have you ever noticed something beautiful on someone else before? Are you always comparing yourself with others, perhaps the size of your friend's TV must not be bigger than yours... As good as competition is, there is a limit to it otherwise it becomes unhealthy! Do you compete with friends, spouse etc to the point of frustrating their plans inorder to be seen or heard? Do you go out of your way to do things just for people to complement you? If you do not get the desired complements, then everyone around you is in trouble!

Toxicity is not limited to the avenue through which it is introduced, it goes systemic, all over the body and takes over the proper functioning of the human system! The mirror is on you and I this morning, not on the other person who does this same thing! In what ways am I toxic in my relationships? I have asked myself and am still asking and would encourage you to do same... Funny enough, this is not a topic you identify in the life of someone else... it is self check. You know areas you smile outwardly and say "it is well" while your heart presents a dagger!

God expects us to come out clean unto him about our weaknesses and shortcomings for we have access to the blood that cleanses. 1 John 1:8-9 The Message: "If we claim that we're free of sin, we're only fooling ourselves. A claim like that is errant nonsense. On the other hand, if we admit our sins—make a clean breast of them—he won't let us down; he'll be true to himself. He'll forgive our sins and purge us of all wrongdoing". We all need to deal with every toxicity in our relationships.

Have a poison free weekend!

Wednesday, 16 January 2013

Costly Comfort

Hello journal:
I checked my phone for the millionth time, it was my "hearthrob" texting me. He is so romantic, unbelieably so for a man his age. He calls me, texts me, picks me up from work and treats me well, calls me all sorts of sweet names, I can not believe my luck. My friends listened as I told them how lucky I am and how my life has just changed all of a sudden. My hearthrob is in his early forties, he is married but arrrggghhhh! do not get me started, I do not know how some women could be so useless, you are married to a man like that and you do not know his worth, she must have charmed him because I do not know how someone like my honeypool can marry a woman who does not know how to dress, she wears, dull looking clothes....see I could go on and on about how nasty she is. Hearthrob complains all the time about how hopeless the woman is, she is always bugging him, always nagging him,always complaining that he stays out late.
 
It is our 3month- anniversary, we have been seeing each other for three months and I have been having a time of my life, the attention, gifts and admiration. It is so hard to find such a sweet man, a lot of my friends say good men are hard to find these days. I think I am one of the lucky few. We are going to play cross word puzzles today, I have ordered food from a nice caterer, I am picking up a few bottles of wine, it is going to be our time together, there will be no need to invite anyone. When you are in love, the feeling is so indescribable!
 
 
The other day, my hearthrob blindfolded me at the entrance of this lovely building and he took me to a nicely furnished apartment and oh my goodness! It was so nice and kind of him. I have moved in there and we spend time there together planning our future. I work in a bank, he got me the job through one of his friends. He said, I am everything he wants in a woman, sophisticated, daring, beautiful and of course sexy! He is planning to leave his wife but I am not really ready to commit to a relationship. I just love the way things are; we eat out, plan every evening or sometimes invite a few of our friends over and have a nice time. My hearthrob also loves me because I dance, I taught him some new moves and we just do the silliest things together.
 
Sweetheart came in late to pick me up, he said he was in a meeting with his business associates and the meeting dragged on longer than he anticipated. I sat in the foyer and waited for an hour, I was seriously upset and told him I was going to call a cab. He started apologizing and promised me a treat to make up for his lateness. He arrived and kissed me and gently blew air into my ear. He calls me his Queen, I feel so spoilt. We take pictures when we go to the beach, there is this game we play, he pretends to catch me and I fall in the sand for him to lift me up. What can I say, my life is good. I am seriously considering having a child for him. On a second thought, no...no strings attached just in case I need to flee!
 
Rog-bie (his name is Aderogba) met Mum at my place today. My Mum was surprised that he was much older than I am. I tell her everything about myself and so all this while she thought he probably was around the same age as I am. He greeted my Mum and gave her a wad of cash when he was leaving. Mum appreciated him for the way he has been taking care of me. She asked me if he was married, I told her he is planning to leave his wife. Mummy said I should be careful so I do not get into trouble, what trouble? That woman does not stand a chance where I am concerned. I decide what happens with this man, I have him wrapped around my finger. Mummy did not object, she wishes me all the good things in life. See my older sister is married, to a guy around her age, men, talk about hustling and struggling! I have always loved the good things of life and I know how to take care of myself.
 
Picnic at the beach, picking shells, watching the waves, singing, what a joy! Falling in love and having a solid financial base, priceless! Honey's phone is always on vibrate so we can focus, he hardly picks up his call but he picked it up as he headed towards the shed by the beach. "speaking, how may I help you?" he responded, "I am out of town and I can not get to Lagos today, I will be in tomorrow morning". He looked upset, "I wonder how they got this number", he whined. I know how to touch the softest cord in his heart, I placed my well manicured hand on his chest as I gently rubbed it, "what is the matter honey"? I asked as I searched his face for a clue. "Someone just called me from a hospital about my wife, I do not even know how they got the number" he concluded. "My Rogbie, she is the mother of your children, I do not like the way you get upset when she is mentioned, we do not want anything to happen to her, what is the situation of things now?" "I need to go see her in the morning at the hospital" he added.
 
My head is racing and I am really upset that this foolish woman has cut short my fun, she is so foolish that she has to fall sick on a day we are chilling at the beach! As we drove back from the beach, we picked up fruits from this fruit depot, they sell the freshest and the best. I stepped out beside my beau and he had his hand around my waist as I selected the fruits we wanted, out of no where someone said; "Uncle Rogba"! Rogbie turned around and from the look on his face I knew there was trouble. "I thought they said you were out of town, your wife is sick and she is on admission at Eko General hospital" she said with a look that said a million things. She turned to me and gave me a look that could freeze over a boiling pot of water. I turned my head in the opposite direction, "she is just a mad woman" I consoled myself quietly.
 
Rogbie muttered some incoherent sentences to defend himself. We briskly finished our shopping and left the place. I was upset that Rogbie was not bold enough to let the whole world know how he truly feels about me. He tells me all these good things when we are alone but he could not tell that mad woman I am his Queen. Who cares about his useless wife, for all I care, she can die. The earlier she dies the better and I will be free to do what I really want to do. Rogbie drove me to a boutique at the corner of my apartment, "honey would you want to pick something for tonight" he asked. "No, I do not want anything, all I want is for you to be able to tell people who I am to you" I snapped. "Queen, you are the one causing the delay, you are not willing to commit to me long term, if you are ready, I am done with this woman, she can die for all I care. You are my love, my friend, you make me happy, you turn me on, you are every woman"! He pulled up in front of the boutique and I got some nice lingerie and a nice Dourney & Bourke hand bag. Life is good!
 
Jeremiah 17:11 NIV puts your escapade like this;
 
"Like a partridge that hatches eggs it did not lay
    are those who gain riches by unjust means.
When their lives are half gone, their riches will desert them,
    and in the end they will prove to be fools"
Hmmm, is it really?....What makes life good for you is what makes life hell for another woman...the man you have captured, who is your friend has become his wife's arch enemy. Your perceived perfection makes his wife worthless and unable to do anything right in his sight. The same man who puts his head on your lap and you rub his chest with your well manicured hand would not want to touch his wife with a stick once he leaves your 'apartment'. The same man who buys everything you want and tells you sweet things cuts his children's fees just to spite his wife. That same man who whispers into your ear is like a wounded lion when he gets home, he roars at his wife and children because he has to go home at night.
 
The same man who laughs at every idiotic utterance you make fumes and boils for no reason just because he wants to make his wife uncomfortable and guilty for what you both do. You are smart, beautiful and sexy, he has no patience for his wife, he calls her when he wants to have sex and it does not matter whether she is tired or not, he wants what he wants when he wants it. You tame him, order him and show him you are tough that is because he has chosen to be a dog, you will do yourself a lot of favour if you let go of his leash, let him go back to his wife and children so they can enjoy him.
 
The longer he stays with you the less time he gets to stay with the woman he vowed "for better for worse to". He calls you all the good names and calls her all the nasty names. That woman treats him like a king, preparing his food but he always has complaints because the man has eaten "isi ewu", "ikobi", chinese food and has been to all the hottest joints in town with you. He despises that woman, not because she is not beautiful but because she has chosen to be a real woman. The more he spends on you the less he is able to give her for the children and family upkeep. The same man who knows how to be kind, gentle and sweet with you has been hard to get, he has refused to go on vacation with his family not because he can not afford it but because you hold the key to making him happy. You cushion him and cater to his lust and rob his family the joy of spending time with him.
 
She does not ask him anything, he gives you everything thanks to your "splitting" and "stripping" skills. You can not be bothered you say, every night that man stays at your place, his wife spends hours balling her eyes out, wondering where and how she missed it. The same man who goes picnicking with you will not spend anytime alone with his wife because you have gotten his attention. Any woman can do the things you if they do not have to commit, devote, love unconditionally the way you go about parading pefection with no strings attaached. A real woman is a home maker, she knows the man's strength and she has built him up before you come along to have an affair with him. You know what he likes and what to say, that is because you can not commit, you have time for frivolities and you will be quick to flee at the earliest sign of trouble.
 
You can not commit to a man or relationship but you go about like a raven, picking and pecking other people's husbands. You will not be a lady for ever! A time will come when you will want to commit so you can have company and a true friend, then, harvest will be on to you, life will give back to you in full measure what you have sowed unto it. Harsh? Hardly, that is the truth of the matter for every woman who chooses to comfort another woman's husband. If you do not harbour him, give listening ears or warm him up, he will have little or no choice than to go back to his wife. You know how to talk to him, press his button and perform well. It is a matter of time, you will some day look back on these days you call blissful and weep if you do not stop and repent.
 
It is easier if you have not heard about the word of God, you stand a good chance at excusing yourself. However, if you attend church and claim to be born again, yet you are on to attrocities, from the many things we have heard and seen, we do not need to be prophets before we predict your end. Accept the mercy of God and repent of your destructive ways. Do not have an affair with another woman's husband, it is costly to have you comfort another woman's husband, the cost is physical, emotional and psychological. The cost is too expensive, you may just have to pay with your own future...think about that.

Tuesday, 15 January 2013

Dealing with MIGRAINES


What is Migraine?
 
Migraine is caused by fluctuations in brain chemicals and abnormal electrical activity in specific brain regions. Migraine can be crippling, can wreck havoc on your ability to function and enjoy your life each day. Specialized brain scans of patients having migraine attacks show waves of abnormal activity that spread across the surface of the brain (the cortex), as well as excitation of nerve centers deep within the brain (the brainstem).
 
What causes Migraine?
Migraine triggers include:
Food such as:cheese, alcohol, yeast (pizza crust, pretzels), sour cream, chocolate, caffeine,vinegar, MSG, Sweetners etc.
 
Weather conditions:changes in weather or barometric pressure, change in temperature, humidity brings on migraine in some people.
 
Hormonal fluctuations: fluctuations related to a woman's menstral cycle, pregnancy, memopause can be strong migraine triggers, reproductive hormones are not the only ones that are likely involved in migraine, thyroid problems often act as a trigger as well.
 
Skipped meals or Irregular meal pattern: skipping or not eating meals could trigger migraines.
 
Bright or flickering lights:bright light, fluorescent lighting, strobe lighting, older computer monitor that have a flicker rate, sun flickering through trees along the road can all serve as migraine triggers. Wearing sunglasses, cap or sun visor to block light that comes in can help.
 
Sleep issues. Too much sleep, too little sleep, interrupted sleep, irregular sleep schedules, and otherwise poor quality sleep can all be very strong Migraine triggers. Waking with a Migraine is often an indication that a sleep issue is the trigger. It's recommended that you get up and go to bed at the same time every day, including weekends and holidays if you are prone to migraines. Stress exacerbates migraines rather than cause it.
 
Heat: hot days, hot rooms and becoming overheated can trigger migraines
 
Dehydration: often times this is overlooked as a trigger for migraines, for those who drink alcohol and caffeine can be dehydrating, so we need to be careful to consume enough liquids that don't contain them.
 
Fragrances, chemical fumes,odors Perfumes, room fresheners, fumes from cleaning products, and odors can trigger Migraines, more so if you encounter it in a small space.
 
Physical exertion including orgasm. Exercise, sports, orgasm, and other physical exertion can be Migraine triggers. It's important that Migraine triggered by physical exertion be checked out by a doctor when they first occur to be sure that they are Migraine and not a physical issue such as aneurysm. Depending on how frequently you participate in exertional activities, doctors can usually prescribe a medication to prevent these Migraines, either on days you exert yourself or every day.

Avoiding this triggers would help to avert the crippling effect migraine has on our ability to function.
 
Treatment and Management
Consult your medical doctor for advice on prescription or over the counter medications, avoid self medication.
 
Reference:
Health Central
http://www.healthcentral.com/migraine/triggers.html?ic=4019

Friday, 11 January 2013

Listening Ears

Listening is one of the hardest things to do. When someone is telling you something interesting, if you have not disciplined yourself enough; you are thinking of how to give the right response, if you are not interested in what they are saying, you might tune them out. Worse still, you might just mount a judgement throne, condeming them right off the bat regardless of whatever it is they are talking to you about. Is it any wonder why it is so easy to get drawn to those who are willing to listen to us whether we are complaining, pouring our hearts or generally whining?
 
I could give a dozen examples about how you can listen to someone and not hear a single word of what they say. For example, I came home from work one evening and I was totally spent, my daughter who was totally oblivious to how tired I was, started telling me about her day and what she had been up to and so on. I kept on responding with "yeah, really", you can not go wrong with such responses eh. I then absent mindedly said "great" and she she asked "why would you say great to that Mummy"? I knew I was in trouble because I did not even hear what she said....I had to think quickly how to rectify the situation without allowing her to realize I was not paying attention. "I meant why dear", I quickly corrected myself but that jolted me back to consciousness. That was a young girl who was having a "Mum-daughter time". She would have been hurt if she found that I was not present with her.
 
How many times are you present with your spouse when he/she wants to speak with you? Are you always busy, tired, disinterested or judgemental about what he/she has to say? A man has his fears and struggles, it takes caring ears to catch such. "He never mentioned that to me", that is probably because you were not taking cues from the things he was talking about... A woman has things that bother her, which do not always have to do with fashion, sales or gossip. You will never know if you do not attempt to listen. How many men have affairs because they find a woman who is willing to provide listening and compassionate ears? If a man has an affair because his wife is not listening, then he had intentions of having an affair you say. Yes, perhaps that is true, it is not necessarily the case that everyone who has an affair has a wife who was unwilling to listen to them at home or hubby who has failed to provide listening ears.
 
Why would you allow any other person be the ones to provide the care you are suppossed to give your spouse? That individual at work, who spends at least 8hours with him/her and has over time become their listening ears will take it a step further and provide emotional support as well. So before you know it, you will be struggling to have him/her back because you created the vacancy that just got filled!  Have you also noticed that when you are able to pour your heart to someone, they gain your trust and in no time you will be confident to share really deep concerns, ideas and thoughts with them?
 
Be an active listener, be a present partner! Do not allow someone else take your rightful place due to carelessness. Have a blessed day and a great weekend ahead.
 
Blessings.