Tuesday 3 April 2012

My Mother & my Wife - Past & Present?

The very first woman that I love, caring, hardworking and has my best interest at heart. When my friends told me I was skinny and ugly, she told me I am the best child in the whole world and she treated me as such.

She told me I would go places, she encouraged me to be an achiever and aim for the highest height, she told me successful people do not have two heads and that whatever I put my mind into I can do. I remember when my admission letter to study Engineering at the university arrived, she was happy, excited and told me if she will do everything possible to ensure I get through school. Sure it was not easy, she worked hard selling finger foods, petty items to gather money. She denied herself all the good things that women her age had, she was determined to see me through school at all cost.

You may wonder where Dad is, well, he died just after my eleventh birthday and since then my two sisters and I have become Mum's sole responsibility. She used to work as an elementary school teacher and she also did some petty trading, she got a store and sold everything sellable to raise money. In my final year in the University, I was the best student in my class of 125 and head hunters came to my school for recruitment and I was one of the first to be recommended for a position with the Shell Petroleum company. I finished my youth service (1 year volunteer opportunity of serving my nation). Life started to look up and without a doubt I assumed the role of a breadwinner, told my mother she will never have to suffer or labour for anything again. I took care of my younger sisters and they both finished university the same year.

Work went well, promotion came almost every year as the Lord blessed all that I laid my hands on to do. I was very much into my work and my service in the house of God and I hardly gave marriage any thought. Mum started worrying and praying that I will find the right woman and settle down. Most of the ladies I saw in church didn't fit into the picture of the woman I would like to marry, in carrying out conversation with one or two I found out how shallow they were and I knew I didnt want to live the rest of my life with a woman who had no personal ambition or goal for her life. Everything I said was ok by most of the girls I met. I kept working and praying and then one day I joined a group of young men in my department to go fishing, I was fascinated by the thought of catching a fish in the river by my self.We caught 4 pieces of fish and we were excited at the size so we decided to go shopping for condiments since we didn't plan for such a big catch. We got all the items we needed and as we headed towards our car, we noticed a lady who tripped as she tried to climb a few flights of stairs, her groceries were all over the floor and she was obviously awfully embarrassed. We all went towards her trying to be gentlemen, two of us  helped her to her feet while a couple of us tried to help pick up the items scattered all over the floor. She was full of appreciation and tried to walk but she had sprained her ankle.

We had to take her to her apartment and she was grateful, God bless you all, I appreciate your help she said as we left her apartment. For the very first time in a long time, I noticed something about her and her voice just stayed with me... We did not even ask for her name, so after work on Monday, I decided to pay her a visit to see how her ankle was, I knocked on the door and she apologised for not asking for our names or telephone so as to at least say 'thank you', that will not be necessary I said. We started talking, we connected so perfectly, pretty, avid reader and initiative, we had so many things in common and she just knew the right buttons to press in me.

My mother came to see me and as she was dusting the appliances in my apartment she said, Ajasa, my beloved and she started eulogizing me, her way of getting my attention whenever she has a serious matter to discuss.  Please make me happy and settle down with a nice girl so you too can have posterity. Mummy I think I have good news for you, there is a girl, I have been seeing for a number of months and I will bring her to meet you this weekend. I brought Delanke to meet my mum and she sat her on her lap as she showered her with love and prayers. You are my daughter not my in-law, you will be fruitful in this house and boys and girls you will carry in your womb for my son. I love you.

We got married and Mum was on cloud 'fifty', she moved in with us after our first child arrived, a bouncing baby boy. A few months after Mum's arrival, my wife started withdrawing and her relationship with Mum was no longer the same. She is happier whenever we are out by ourselves and she would give any excuse to avoid having Mum in our company. My Mum started complaining about  Delanke, she would always have a catalogue of offences she committed when I was away. Whenever I arrive from work, Mum would eulogize me, sit down to talk to me about her day and Delanke would be in the room, moody and looking sad. I felt squeezed, not too sure how to handle the tension at home.

This continued for about five months and I came home one day to find Mum and Delanke exchanging words, "He is mine, I gave birth to him, I nurtured and trained him and you come here now when all is done to take him away from me, you will not succeed, even if you are a witch, by fire and thunder you will die". Delanke responded; Mummy, I have exercised patience all these months because I respect my husband but today, you have crossed the line, this is my home, any one who says I will not stay in my husband's home will die by fire and thunder.You belong in his past, I am his present and the children I am having for him will be his future, let that sink into you Mummy! I walked in and hushed my wife, please stop it, how can you say that to my mother? I prostrated to apologize to my mother who was now crying and putting her things together in a travelling bag. I am going back to my house, I cannot continue to tolerate this useless girl.

It was as if my world had just crashed...(to be continued)

What should I do now?

Please I welcome your comments.


1 comment:

  1. First,thanks for this blog,i pray that God will continue to enrich n bless you.
    you have no idea how this helps.am in a similar situation and would like to read people's suggestion.

    ReplyDelete