Pressing On...

Reading this write up affirms that God has indeed been faithful. It is the very last day in this beautiful year and indeed only God is worthy of our praises. I am not sure how much of His goodness you have witnessed this year, but He has proven Himself in so many ways that I can not count in my life in this year.

 

As I was preparing this last write up for the year, I sensed God wants us all to come to the place of evaluation, that is bring all that He has allowed us to read into perspective. Many times there are reactions such as; "Wao, Word straight from the throne, Gbam, true talk, blessed by this, more anointing, heart of God for now and so on" to a lot of articles and write up that we read as well as messages that we hear. However, the word of God will only profit us when it mixes with faith in us.

 

When we read or hear the word of God, it is not meant to excite us alone, it is meant to transform, heal, enlighten,deliver, bless and do all that it is sent to do. Homes and marriages of believers still suffer needless pain and hurt because we refuse to allow the word of God to fulfill its purpose. For as long as you still engage human wisdom, trying to do things your own way, worried about opinion of others instead of practising the word of God totally, then you will constantly wonder why there is no difference.

 

Romans 2:13 The Message version states "Merely hearing God’s law is a waste of your time if you don’t do what he commands. Doing, not hearing, is what makes the difference with God"

Doing, attempting daily to put to practice even in the face of much difficulty is what yeilds the needed result. You have toiled, struggled, insisted on your own way and yet the result has remained the same, are you not willing to go an extra mile with Jesus in every area where human effort has failed you? The year ahead is loaded, blessed, however challenging for those who will choose to do things their own way, who will maintain status quo.

 

God answers prayers, He does not fail and He will be true to you only if you are true to yourself. God can not be deceived, it is time to be totally yeilded unto Him in all things and you will experience the newness He alone can bring as He has promised. Isaiah 43:19 NIV

 

"See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness
and streams in the wasteland"

 

Be expectant, be willing to step into new things, be willing to try humility, submissiveness, kindness and live the fruit of the spirit each and every single one. I am assured that God will channel a way in that desert, wilderness of confusion and He will cause streams that will satisfy your thirst and dryness to flow. You need to be able to perceive it to recieve it.

 

Let us Press on to higher heights in Christ in 2013!

 

May the Lord keep you and cause His countenance to shine upon you. Thank you for all the encouragements and positive feedback. God is set to do a new thing in your  life and He will do it. Wishing you a glorious year ahead in 2013.

 

Shalom!

I thank you all for allowing me to be a blessing in a way or the other.

Just Maybe...

I met a beautiful 93 year old woman a few days ago and we got talking. I was fascinated about the fact that she had been married for 60 plus odd years, you trust I was going to ask them the secret of the marriage... the old man told me"she is a great person and I try to be the best I can". I found them very pleasant and after a while, the woman came to talk with me, she leaned over my desk and I asked her if she was insured for eternity, she said, "that is crap, except you are a believer", I asked if she was but she did not respond. Then I told her I do not see a lot of people her age around and the few ones I see have either lost their health or mind or both...that being alive and still having all her senses intact was a great privilege,we continued our conversation until she left for the night.

I used an analogy for her and here it is; every time you buy a new car, you insure it, why? Is it because you are expecting to have a motor vehicle collision? Scarcely, no one leaves their house praying that they get into an accident just so they can benefit from their contributions to the insurance company. Yet, every month depending on how new or how much value you place on your car you cough out a decent chunk of money for coverage and yet you pray you do not have any opportunity to get that money back. The thought of "just maybe" or "just in case" keeps us working hard to part with our hard earned money and give to the insurance company every month.

Eternity is too long a time to gamble with. Do you recognize your being alive and healthy as a privilege?  If you are yet to know the Lord then you need to make a conscious decision to give your life to Him and allow Him to be the Lord and saviour. I do not refer to being a part of a church where you sing or carry out an activity or the other, but I speak about having a real and deep relationship with the Lord Jesus. Where you purposefully invite Him to take over the affairs of things in your life and be resident and President in your life. Every relationship requires a level of commitment and when you commit to Him, He too will have your back.

Acts 4:12 AMP
"And there is salvation in and through no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given among men by and in which we must be saved".

You were probably born into Christianity and you know and understand the lingo but does heaven have record of a day you came to the feet of cross to ask for a new management in your life? Have you been running your own affairs and almost to a grind? Perhaps you go to church just to associate with other but unless the Lord has a place in your heart, all effort of donating and participating in church activities might be a colossal waste of time. That is why you need to realize that you can not save yourself by being pious and self righteousness. Here are a few steps to establish a relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ and insure eternity:
Accept that you have sinned and that the natural man cannot please God
Confess your sins, repent and forsake them
Accept the sacrifice that Jesus made on the cross of Calvary and confess with your mouth that you believe that He died for your sins
Ask Him to come into your life and reign as King, write your name in the Lamb's book of life, give Him glory and thank Him for accepting you into His own kingdom.

You can live your life rejoicing and knowing that come what may, you are insured. Even though the enemy comes to steal,kill and destroy, understanding of having an eternal insurance keeps your mind at peace and your joy intact. May the peace of God guard your heart as you go through your journey here and may your destination end in life eternal where we will rejoice and worship our King endlessly.

Blessings.

I Give You Peace

Without any doubt, peace is the only antidote to the many issues we face on a daily bases. Family issues, work related issues, our expectations and inadequacies, a seemingly impossible desire for one good gift and you may add to the list...When you are one with God, He gives you an unexplainable peace in the face of the storm, so therefore, it does not matter if the mountains relocate right into the midst of the sea, you are secure and solid where God puts you.

Jesus is the Prince of Peace, He helps you go through the curves and bends of life, ensuring you do not fail or get hurt. Jesus personally guaranteed our peace package, He explained in details what He was leaving with us and how we should perceive it. He articulates this in John 14:27 Amplified

"Peace I leave with you; My [own] peace I now give and bequeath to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid. [Stop allowing yourselves to be agitated and disturbed; and do not permit yourselves to be fearful and intimidated and cowardly and unsettled.]"

Your situation is not as bad as it parades itself to be...refuse to be alarmed but hold on unwavering in all you do to God and you will see God's own salvation in your peculiar situation. Verbalize and believe what God's word says and watch it come true in your life. Romans 10:10 says; "with the heart man believes, with the mouth confession is made unto salvation". So when you are waiting for a test result, a response from a recruiter, you have submitted a business proposal, resume, or application, let the peace of God guard your heart. When you have proposed to a woman do not lose your sleep because she has said she wanted to clarify from God, let the peace of God saturate your heart when you feel pressure from the world, friends, in-laws, work etc. When doubts arise, answer with the word of God and you will soar on the wings of faith.

The Holy Spirit who is the Comforter given unto us till the coming back of the Lord Jesus is constantly nudging and assuring us of the love of the Father. Have you ever been in a situation, you thought there is no way of escape because of the things you see and then you just can't panic...hard to explain but that is the peace of God. Also, when you are expectant, waiting for an important thing, the thought consumes every minute of your day and life but you have this great assurance that you will have an answer of peace...then because God can not lie, you get exactly what you desire, but through the waiting period, you did not disintegrate, that is what the Holy Spirit does. He holds you together, assuring you and protecting you.

May the hand of the Lord be wrapped around you this week, may He comfort, surround you with His endless love and may you come back with testimonies in Jesus name.

Blessings,

Not Easily Discouraged

After setting your goal you need to make up your mind to face challenges and not be easily discouraged. A lot of us set out into marriage with a fairy-tale mentality; about the individual, their jobs, faith, family and so on. However, we find out that human beings are constantly changing. The in-laws who saw you as the best thing that ever happened to their child are the first to ask if the girl has been around town if she is unable to conceive on time. The young man who is described as an angel of God becomes irresponsible if he loses his job or if things are not loooking too bright for him. Parents will call you in confidence to find out if your spouse has ancestral problems if a certain trend is observed in him. Your commitment will help you fight your battles in the place of prayer.


When your spouse's attitude changes about all things and everything, she/he becomes lukewarm towards the things of God, commitment helps you exercise patience in encouraging as well as praying for her/him so that her/his zeal does not die. Commitment takes away the tendency to act like Job's wife in the face of trials and temptations. We all face our fair share of trials and they do not all come in the same flavour, so you hardly can apply someone else's medication to yours...



Genesis 29:22-25 articulates Laban's deception.
Jacob had commited to marrying Rachel, he had served with all his heart and mind and was looking forward to reaping the fruit of his labour by having his pretty wife wake up by his side the day after marriage, but lo, it was Leah, Rachel's weak and dull looking eyes he woke up to behold! Commitment makes you believe the best about your spouse even when it does not seem as if anything good will come out of there present situation. Or when you wonder where the person you fell in love disappeared to.


There are times in your marriage when the 'fire' might not necessarily be burning. Changes to a growing family; children who are too close in age, increasing finances sometimes make you wonder where the good old days of being able to afford whatever you wanted flew to, however, commitment with total trust in God will see you through the tough days.


Maybe you are experiencing deception in your marriage and you are thinking of ending it...if your husband started out on the right path and pressures are making him give up on God, you do not have to abandon him for the devil. If the wife you married seems to be wavering and you observe traits that do not exemplify christian virtues, what do you do? Do you leave them in pursuit of another angel? When your spouse struggles with life, in decision making, in knowing the next direction for the family do you dispise them and become discouraged? Yell at them and take over the reins of the family direction? I have come to realize that it is easy to lead or follow as long as you remember you are human. That means, we make mistakes, we take wrong decisions,some are costly but we need to stay together to clean up our messes.
You can attain whatever height you hope or plan for as long as you are commited to your set goals. Do not be downcast things can only get better.


Blessings.

Still on In-law Affairs...

Even though I find some issues amusing when it comes to Mother/Daughter in-law that is not to trivialize or discount the importance and impact this relationship has on the lives of those who happen to have not too pleasant relationships.

The bible is our reference point and we have to take our cues from it. Ruth and her mother in-law are a perfect example of how in-laws should relate. 

Ruth 2:11-12 NKJV
"And Boaz answered and said to her, “It has been fully reported to me, all that you have done for your mother-in-law since the death of your husband, and how you have left your father and your mother and the land of your birth, and have come to a people whom you did not know before. ¹² The Lord repay your work, and a full reward be given you by the Lord God of Israel, under whose wings you have come for refuge.”


 Every mother wants the best for their sons, however, once your son is married, you need to evaluate how much involvement you need to have in his marital relationship. Every woman young or old must always try the shoe on the other foot so she knows how it feels. Some 25 - 30 years ago, you probably were a relatively young wife with challenges. Perhaps you had not too nice in-laws and your culture played a very important role in making your life miserable because of unreasonable demands and expectations from your in-laws. Now is the time to right the cultural wrong that makes the life of young women miserable with their in-laws. You do not have to make another person's life miserable because "I endured more than that when I was your age". Let love spread abroad in your heart and be a true example of a godly mother.

If you are a young woman married to another woman's son, do not approach your in-laws with a biased mind, negative attitude and wrongly preconceived notions. If you belong to the class of young women who want their mothers-in-law dead so they do not have to share their husband with her, then remember that you too have a mother, if you have brother(s) then expect what you sow...if your mother in-law is a notorious witch, you have to still be grateful to God and to her for not killing the wonderful man you are married to. Approach your mother in-law respectfully and treat her the way you would want your own mother to be treated by your husband or your brother's wife.


Women are known to be possessive of their sons and husbands you both want the same thing for this single individual you both love dearly. The way to handle your differences is not to make the man choose but to sincerely find a common ground where you will both work things out without making his life hell on earth. For every mother in-law; your son should not have to choose you over his wife because of your demands and expectations. Your role can never be substituted for, you are one in a million, your son can only have one Mother and that is the unique role God has given YOU. Your son is mature, he is married and he has his own life to live, you can not dictate how to run his home regardless of how inexperienced his wife is. God has given you the role to guide and pray for their success in their relationship and that is what you need to do. If you are physically able to be  a blessing to them by caring for their children, thank God for your life, if you visit them, do not frustrate another woman's daughter by being unreasonably difficult. You probably have your own daughter who is married to someone else's son, treat another woman's daughter the way you would appreciate yours treated. You should not have a rival in your daughter-in-law. Fulfill your role in such a way that your son, his wife and your grandchildren will constantly pray for you for being a graceful and blessed woman. My prayer to every mother-in-law is that you will reap the fruit of your labour, am sure you will be happy to say Amen if you have done well. Naomi, had lost her own biological children, yet she paved the path of a glorious destiny for Ruth, what will you be remembered for by your daughter in-law?

If you are a young woman who has issues with her mother in-law, remember Ruth, a woman who was willing to exercise her faith and link her destiny to the lineage of our Lord Jesus. From boldly leaving her people and culture and following a woman who had no future as it were, to gleaning in Boaz's field, she was a different woman with another spirit! Her mother in-law and all around knew how kind she had been, what is your goal and aim for treating your mother in-law the way you do? Why do you not put your best foot forward and let your good works be spoken of. If your mother in-law is in a village somewhere uncertain of where her next meal is coming from, and you are enjoying your husband's prosperity without any thought of her welfare, you need to rethink...If your husband has severed his link with his family in order to maintain peace, you are sowing a seed, in due time you will reap the reward. God has placed women in homes to be a positive influence, link and make a difference.

You know how to make your husband do what you want, set the right boundaries with your husband's help where his mother is concerned. If the right boundaries are in place and you are free from in-law oppression, do not push your own boundaries. Let posterity speak positively about you as well as bless you. If your mother in-law is mean and nasty, be nice and kind towards her, honor her as the bible has enjoined us and let God himself reward her every action. You too will grow old one day and I hope you will look back at this period in your life and be happy but if you have not done well, you would wish then...
If your mother in-law is overbearing, let your husband be the one to put her in her rightful place, never let a mother's heart curse you for your mischief. When your friends tell you, "you are too slow" let your pace be determined by God. You may need a good support system down the road and I hope your work will speak in your favour...

Relationship with in-laws does not have to be war-like;disagreements,misunderstandings, mean and negative attitudes especially in home where Christ is proclaimed. Do everything to be at peace even with your in-laws. I have seen women who have won over their difficult, hard to please and impossible in-laws. The devil will not gain a foot hold in your home, exercise wisdom and patience. God has called us to peace. For every one in a difficult situation unsure of how to navigate the path of peace, may Jesus the Prince of Peace reign in your home and grant you wisdom from above to handle every raging storm in Jesus name.

Household gods.

Rachel the wife of Jacob was a favored woman, loved and desired and she was worth the whole world to her husband who was willing to go to the end of the world to secure her hand in marriage. Deception was not strong enough to discourage or make Jacob changed his mind about his heartthrob, Rachel. Jacob who later became Israel after his encounter with the God of Bethel did not brood or sit down to whine about being conned by Laban his uncle to marry Leah. His mind was made up, he was willing to give it whatever it takes to marry Rachel, the very impressive lady who had captured his heart.

Jacob must have introduced his God to both Leah and Rachel as well as their maids through whom Jacob had raised sons as well. As beautiful, loved and favored as Rachel was, she was the one who had a need to take along or better put, steal her father's household gods....Why you may wonder just as I do? That was what she was familiar with, known all her life, comfortable with. Rachel had to wait till her sister and rival Leah was done child bearing before God opened her womb. Even though she had associated the birth of Joseph to God's goodness to her, she still reverted to her household gods when she needed comfort for little things like journey mercies to an unknown land...

Rachel lacked true worship hence, her need to steal her father's God. Rachel called her first son Joseph, because she believed it was the Lord God who took away her reproach by giving her a son. She prophesied that the Lord was yet going to add to her another son. It is always very comforting, exciting and faith invoking when we get our prayer requests speedily. We make up songs, we prophesy and are quick to tell the whole world about this great God. However, after winning a victory, there will always be another one to be won and that is where rubber meets the road for a lot of us. Rachel who had experienced the blessing of the Lord, answer to her prayers, whose reproach had been taken away and expectantly awaiting the next big move of God had to take some sort of security, an assurance, guarantee or backup as she departed from her father's house. When you apply for a decent job, mega buck-paying, destiny transforming job, is there always a need to bring along your household gods of lies, embellishment or exaggeration? Will you unceremoniously dismiss your mother by telling her she can visit wherever she wants to visit to ask for a child on your behalf but you are going to church to pray,  indirectly giving her approval to solicit other gods on your behalf?

She needed something to keep her grounded and the big God will be too big to serve that purpose, it had to be her father's household gods that are used to charm or cast a spell on victims that will grant her journey mercies... Is God too big for certain issues in your life and you have to help yourself by seeking your household gods? Rachel successfully got away with it but not for long, her prophesy was about to be fulfilled because God had given her another son. Her deceit and idolatry ruined her chance of seeing her prophesy come to pass. Instead of rejoicing at her blessings, her expectation became truncated as she could only see sorrow in the place where God has given her joy and fulfilled expectation.

When we cling to the familiar and household gods of 'back up', "hidden agenda", human help and devices in whatever form, then we run the risk of polluting ourselves, our faith and therefore risking our expectation being cut short. If God has promised you something, you can be sure He will bring you to it or bring it to you. Household gods insult our big God. When you hold on in faith, God will order your steps and cause you to succeed in the seemingly big issues of life.

Get rid of every household god, look up for in God alone lies solution to every challenge.

When walking with God it is important to move away from the familiar, what you are used to and then hold on to the Invisible God that is Faith!

Blessings.

Too good to let go...

I was discussing with a friend about the impact of our actions on posterity. If you are a godly woman, happily married, you owe it to yourself, love for Christ and posterity to keep your home and make sure you do not stir up trouble in another woman's home. If a man tells you after X# of children you are still the best in the West, know it is sheer flattery. If you could not marry an individual when you were single, what business do you have befriending him as a married woman? If you give in to his pressure or any kind of pressure and have an affair, you are putting gravel in your mouth and guess what? The taste will bruise your palate.

Some relationships build us up, enhance the good things in us while some are out to destroy our wonderfully planned destiny.  Regardless of how much fun, adventure and flesh gratifying it appears, flee all appearance and similitude of evil. An affair can at the best provide temporary pleasure and possession but on the long run, you and your posterity will pay dearly for it. You may reap temporary benefits from having an affair but when you arrive at a point you never imagined you would ever attain, how do you then right this wrong against yourself? The seemingly big items that are making you run after someone else's husband will become common place and available in your life, just maybe you then become serious in your relationship with Christ, how then will you redeem your testimony?

"All things are lawful but not all things are expedient, all things are lawful but I will not be mastered by any". 1 Cor.6 12 KJV

If another woman's husband is flirting dangerously with you, make sure you spell it in clear terms that you are not interested in an affair, make sure you severe any link with what will get you and your family into a mess. Everything we do in life is a seed, you will harvest it not too far from now. Some girls/women do not have any intention of marrying a man, they just want to have an affair, an affair is a dark, secretive phenomenon that ruins home.

 If you are single today and dating other people's husband, a day might come when you meet the right man and you eventually settle down into a home, be careful lest your harvest come at that time, you can not be a lady forever...there will always be younger, prettier girls who will catch your husband's attention, they too will not marry him they will only take away your peace and marital bliss, giving you a dose of your own medication. Girls or women who have an affair are like those who go down to the stream to fetch water, they do not necessarily want to drink the water they just want to stir it up and make it undrinkable for others.

Proverbs 5:15 "Drink waters out of thine own cistern, and running waters out of thine own well".

Flirting or having an affair with someone else's husband will only bring you shame and embarrassment, decency suggests that you be satisfied with your own spouse or wait for your own man.

Shalom!

Egyptians Are Men!

Busola sat on the balcony and watched the graduands come forward in twos for their hand shakes, from those who had completed their Ph.D, Masters and finally to Bachelors degree, it was such a beautiful sight to see. It was also very encouraging to see that these hardworking individuals have finally completed their programs. Such a day would have been a depressing moment for her before now, why you may wonder? She had experienced many challenges along the academic path and it was as if she operated in the realm of failure at the edge of success as regards academics. She had longed for the day she would finish her academic program and walk across the stage for a hand shake from the Chancellor and professors of her University.

She had the opportunity last year and it was as if a load had been taken off her chest, she can face other aspects of life without the constant nagging thought of being a failure... So also, in your case, that situation is temporal. The fear of whether God will do what He has promised to do "on time" makes us run around seeking help where it does not exist. You wonder and imagine the worst case scenario about your particular situation. "Will God do it? What if He does not do it?, Is God testing me?" God does not test us with evil. His earnest desire is that we have all things that we need to make our lives glorify His holy name. If you are in a challenging situation and you do not seem to know the way out, remember a bunch of people have experienced a similar or much more challenging situation before...

"The Children of Israel had heard from the Lord and they can see their chosen leader Moses, he had squared off with Pharaoh and his magicians and without any doubt God was with His people. As a matter of fact, God had visited Egypt in His sore displeasure capping it up with the death of every first born through out the land of Egypt. Without any doubt God was leading them and taking them to the promise land. Well, Israel was boxed in literally caught between the red sea and the choicest of Pharaoh's army.

I can only imagine the looks and expressions on the faces of the people when they saw the Egyptian army closing in on them with no other route to escape. God made a high way on the sea, a miracle that has never been replicated afterwards. Exodus 14:13 KJV

"And Moses said unto the people, Fear ye not, stand still, and see the salvation of the Lord, which he will shew to you to day: for the Egyptians whom ye have seen to day, ye shall see them again no more for ever".

That settled it, every Egyptian you see today you shall see them no more in your situation. Perhaps they may say we will pursue, then Exodus 14:23

"And the Egyptians pursued, and went in after them to the midst of the sea, even all Pharaoh's horses, his chariots, and his horsemen." Well, the result was that they perished totally. Every stubborn enemy that wants to persist in the face of your victory shall perish in Jesus name. Walk into this week assured of the word of the Lord that cannot fail knowing that Egyptians are men and will perish at the Word of the Lord.

Becoming: A function of Diligence

BECOMING, a function of Diligence

God has deposited in each one of us the seed of greatness, we can nurture it and let it grow, we may decide to complain about why others are achieving greatness or give excuses about not having ample opportunities to be great. Whatever we decide to do, we will live with the consequence.

Greatness is not achieved on the couch of excuses, complaints or endless whining. Life will never give you what you deserve but what you decide to accomplish. Every successful marriage, career or ministry is borne out of hard work, dedication and commitment. The many offenses that you are not willing to forgive or overlook will continue to serve as your point of vulnerability. The enemy knows how to keep pressing your button of vulnerability to get you to sin or truncate your destiny.

In order to become what God has destined you to become you have to work with Him in the process, do your bit and allow Him to do His bit...Proverbs 22:29 KJV
"Seest thou a man diligent in his business? he shall stand before kings; he shall not stand before mean men"

It is easy to wish away challenges, but everyone who will stand out must be willing to put in the effort required. Proverbs 12:24 KJV
"The hand of the diligent shall bear rule: but the slothful shall be under tribute"

God's expectation is that we will each achieve success in all areas of ourlives and we can when we choose to believe Him, His Word and the ability He has given us. Receive inner strength to achieve God's purpose for you and fulfill destiny.

Enslaved By Whims?

When I was a lot younger, I used to long for the time I will grow up and be able to do whatever I like...Whenever there was a birthday in those days, you get a piece of cake and if there is still any left after the party, it is shared and everyone in the house gets a piece. Cake used to be so yummy in those days, I recall I used to dream of a time when I will eat a whole birthday cake by myself...

 

Well, the opportunity presented itself recently during my birthday, I had a big slab of cake, begged people to take enough home with them. After the party there was still so much left that I wondered what to do with it... it was mine, my cake, a whole big cake, but I could not eat more than a piece. So what happened to the desires of those days? Well, if I tried eating as much as I desired in those days, I might end up being sick, never mind that those kind of foods do not just melt away after consumption but they find their way around my waistline!

 

A scripture came to my mind as I prepared for the week; 1 Corinthians 6:12 The Message
^"Just because something is technically legal doesn't mean that it's spiritually appropriate. If I went around doing whatever I thought I could get by with, I'd be a slave to my whims".

 

There is no crime in eating as well as stuffing your face endlessly. Ensuring you get a taste of every menu item at a party is perfectly in order but is it appropriate? Buying, window shopping, pressurizing yourself or spouse over the latest "this and that" may make you feel you belong in the league of the big shots but does it add value to you? Going on vacation while maxing your credit card to do it may make others look at you as if you have arrived but what benefit is that to you? If it is new and available you must have it, fair enough but why do you attach your joy to possessing everything that you can find?

 

What club do you belong to by virture of the fact that God has blessed you and you can afford whatever you want? Maybe this class or club make you feel like a god/goddess and you attach little or no importance to the value of your househelp because you pay them to work for you?

 

It is permissible to look through your spouse's contact details on their phone but do you really need to upset yourself unnecessarily by suspecting every unfamiliar name on that list as a possible affair partner. Everyone who smiles at your handsome husband or pretty wife wants them you daily conclude...All things are lawful, you have a right, you can buy whatever, you can eat whatever, dress as you like even if your comely parts are exposed...

 

Why do you not constantly weigh the purpose of the endless conversations that leave you drained and feeling guilty? Break the hold of indulgence in every area of your life, ask for grace to discipline yourself instead.

 

As  you go into a new week, consider things that are purposeful, advantageous,beneficial and edifying. If it does not build you up perhaps you do not need to pursue it. Do not become enslaved by your whims.

 

May it be a glorious week in your life and mine in Jesus name.

 

Before any conclusions...

Some years ago, my oldest daughter was a little over three years old, she was one energizer bunny and always left trails of toys to pick up, spills to clean and so on. There was this day she had scattered her toys and I told her she was going to get into big trouble. I was upset that she had added to the many chores I had to do that day and she just came smiling totally oblivious to the fact that I was upset about what she had done. She started singing this song; "He still working on me, to make me what He wants to be..."

I looked up in amazement and was not sure what to say, I smiled and said, "sure He is working on you, I just wish He will hasten His work before stress kills me". That has taught me a lesson in relating with people generally. How often do we wish God will just finish His work in our spouses, children, colleagues, siblings  speedily?

We are all work in progress, it is interesting how we expect perfection from others when we are far from being perfect. It is funny how you know what others should do but not what you should do. When you consider a couple who have issues in their relationship, the man knows what the woman is supposed to do, how to speak, act and function as a woman. The woman, knows what the man should do and how he should treat a woman but not what she should do as it concerns her husband.

Criticism is very easy but making your own mark is what God expects each one of us to do wherever we find ourselves. The scripture that has caught my attention all weekend is from Mark 9:50 KJV

"Salt is good:but if the salt have lost his saltness, where with  will ye season it? Have salt in yourselves, and have peace one with another".

Characteristics, usefulness and importance of salt will be a topic for another time soon. You need to take ownership and responsibility for your actions, always tell yourself "I am important in my relationship, so much depends on me, I can not afford to point the accusing finger to the other party, my partner, my friend, my colleague. I am responsible for my actions". Have you noticed that even the patriarchs of old all had 'issues'? Things they had to work on while they walked with God? A few people and their issues,
=>Abraham was barren, the father of faith, he yeilded to a flesh glorifying suggestions by his wife but he still finished strong, the father of faith

=>Isaac hung his blessings on the agreement that his son would provide his favourite meal

=>Moses struck the rock twice instead of once, one meek man who spoke with God,face to face.

=Rahab the harlot, found her way into the genealogy of our Lord Jesus
=>Apostle Paul, the author of the most books in the New Testament had anger issues.

What is your shortcoming? Do you gossip, are you temperamental, are you envious or you can't handle anyone being better than you? Do you find it difficult to submit to your husband or authority? Do you have interpersonal issues? Well, do not be discouraged, God is still working on you and I and we sure will be excellent Master pieces!

Do not allow your shortcomings be your excuses for being a pain in the neck. Here is the conclusion that I would draw from this: Micah 6:8 KJV
"He hath showed thee, O man, what is good: and what doth the Lord require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God".

God has high hopes for you and I and He will not give up on us, so do not give up on yourself, just keep improving and walking the walk of faith. May grace be multiplied upon each one of us to please God in Jesus name. Have a great week ahead.

Shalom!

Much ado about communication...

Communication continues to be a major huddle to cross not only in marital relationships but in almost every relationship we find ourselves. You are expected to possess excellent communication skills when you are applying for a job...If you respond in anger at work, you are termed, unprofessional and you are not a team player. If you respond to your friend's nasty comment you are perceived as trouble maker...if your in-law feels disrespected by your tone of voice or comment, you are on the verge of starting war in your home.

Why then do we not take time to check our communication skills?

"Communication works for those who work at it" - John Powell.

What do you do to improve your communication skills so you can avoid unnecessary trouble in your home?. There is a local adage that says; "there is a how of saying hello". Professionals who daily work on the art of communication tells us that body language, intonation and pitch of your voice all play important role in effective communication. When you are talking to someone, is your aim to pass a message across, vent or react negatively to a perception you generally have?. If any of this is the case, then your message will be lost in transit.

When next you intend to correct your spouse, remember that he/she has feelings, emotions,your how of communication can trigger a contrary reaction in them. For peace sake, put the shoe on the foot for a quick second before making any utterance.
Proverbs 15:1 KJV

"A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger".

If you are having issues in your marriage relationship and the other party has severally complained about the way you talk to them, for you to experience peace, you have to be prepared to learn how to communicate effectively.

Meaning what you say...do your spouse ever complain that you pass mixed messages? That means you are not communicating well. You say something but your actions and body language do not show that you mean what you say. For example, when you agree on responsibilities around the house, do you say things just to appear as if you agree with your spouse? Do you work at improving lapses? You come in late, your spouse is always very worried until she sees you yet, you will always "hang out with the boys after work" and you know that will definitely make you get home late. If you have to hang out with friends, make sure you inform your spouse so they know not to worry...

Agreeing to run errands without letting your spouse know can result to nasty attitude or response. If you have to help someone out, run an errand or attend an impromptu function, then always let your spouse know. Being a person of your word and avoiding tardiness once you have agreed to meet up somewhere all contribute to effective communication.
Effective communication involves selflessness and willingness to hear from the other party. So as we work on how to better communicate, we need to communicate with God to help us out. Ciao and keep working at it.

80/20 or 20/80 Need and Want

I got this from a loved one and I can not but post it. Enjoy and let me have your comments. Blessings.

I am not sure if you have seen the movie "Why did I get married 1&2? If you haven't that's a nice one to get and watch with your spouse...

           I will vote this as the best mail on the facts of life

Interesting quote from the movie "Why did I get married?" In most cases, especially in relationships, you will only get 80% of what you NEED  and you will hardly get the other 20% that you WANT in your relationship. There is always another person (man or women) that you will meet and that will offer you the other 20% which is lacking in your relationship that you WANT And believe me, 20% looks really good when you are not getting it at all in your current relationship. But the problem is that you will always be tempted to leave that good 80% that you know you have, thinking that you will get something better with the other 20% that you WANT But as reality has proven, in most cases, you will always end up with having the 20% that you WANT and loosing the 80% that you really NEED and that you already had. Be careful in deciding between what you WANT and NEED in your life.             Adultery happens when you start looking for what you don't have. "Wow, this girl in my office is a real looker. But it's not her Wynona Rider features that got me. I'm crazy about her because she's also understanding, intelligent, tender - so many things that my spouse is not" Somewhere along the way, you'll find a woman or a man who will be more charming or sensitive. More alluring. More thoughtful. Richer. Have greater sex appeal. And you will find a woman or man who will need you and pursue you and go loco over you more than your spouse ever did. Because no wife or husband is perfect. Because a spouse will only have 80% of what you're looking for. So adultery takes place when a husband or wife looks for the missing 20%. Let's say your wife is melancholic by nature. You may find yourself drawn to the pretty clerk who has a cherry laugh no matter what she says: "I broke my arm yesterday, Hahahaha . . .." Or because your wife is a homebody in slippers and pajamas, smelling of garlic and fish oil, you may fall for a fresh-smelling young sales representative that visits your office in a sharp black blazer, high heels, and a red pencil-cut skirt Or because your husband is the quiet type, your heart may skip a beat when you meet an old college flame  who has the makings of a talk show host. But wait! That's only 20% of what you don't have. Don't throw away the 80% that you already have! That's not all. Add to your spouse's 80% the 100% that represents all the years that you have been with each other. The storms you have weathered together. The unforgettable moments of sadness and joy as a couple. The many adjustments you have made to love the other. The wealth of memories that you've accumulated as lovers. Adultery happens when you start looking for what you don't have. But faithfulness happens when you start thanking God for what you already have. But I'm not just talking about marriage. I'm talking about life! About your jobs. About your friends. About your children. About your lifestyles. Are you like the economy airline passenger that perennially peeks through the door of the first class cabin, obsessed with what he's missing? "They have got more leg room! Oh my, their food is served in porcelain! Wow, their seats recline at an 80% angle and they've got personal videos!" I guarantee you'll be miserable for the entire trip! Don't live your life like that. Forget about what the world says is first class. Do you know that there are many first class passengers who are miserable in first class – because they are not riding in a private Lear Jet? The main message??? If you start appreciating what you have right now, wherever you are, you are first class! 20/80 or 80/20.  Your life is yours, live it and determine your lot in life, you enjoy the decisions you made in your life.   Enjoy what you have because you’re blessed.

 

God Questers

Proclaiming affiliation with God, church or fellowship has become common place these days depending on what it will get you,how it will enhance your rating or public relations. We all speak the Christian lingo and even people who do not have any idea of what it means to belong to God will say things like "I reject it in Jesus name", "It is well", "I am blessed" because these all spell positivity.God is still God, very much the same, holy and His standard will never change.

 

God expects each one of us to draw near to Him with hands that are clean and hearts that are pure. Little wonder the Psalmist asks the million dollar question in Psalm 24:3-6

 

"Who can climb Mount God?
      Who can scale the holy north-face?
   Only the clean-handed,
      only the pure-hearted;
   Men who won't cheat,
      women who won't seduce.

 ^5-6 God is at their side;
      with God's help they make it.
   This, Jacob, is what happens
      to God-seekers, God-questers"

There are few things that I noticed in the above scripture verses; criteria for ascending into the place where God is, not just mouthing things that sound nice to the ear or that make us acceptable in certain circles.

 

Clean handed: do I engage my hands in filthy things? For every stroke of the keys on the computer that links you to filthiness of any type - pornography, sexting (art of sending sexual messages to those you are not married to) and every other form of filth that you dip your hands into.

 

Pure hearted: thoughts, ideas conceived in the mind. Guide your hearts for out of it flows issues of life. What do I allow to flow out of my mind contrary to the word of God? Are there idols in my heart? I must make it at all cost even if I offend God? Our hearts are created to be the throne of God, where He alone reigns and no other idol. It is time to destroy every idol and enthrone the king of kings.

 

Men who wont cheat: Cheating will disqualify you from following after God, from sincerely thirsting for Him. Whether you cheat in terms of committing fraud or you cheat in terms of infidelity, you disqualify yourself from ascending unto where God is. You ask me how many Pastors are committing infidelity and yet preach the gospel? One thing I know is that God is a righteous judge, no matter how smart a man thinks he is, God is able to disappoint the crafty.That is why in your walk with God, focus has to be on what you do and not on what the other party does. As the saying goes, you only have control over your action and not somone else's reaction. If a man commits sin, he belongs solely to the devil! The devil is not fooled by your ability to dramatize, he knows those who belong to God! If you cheat on your wife, you create an in road for the devil to destroy God's plan for your life. Do not allow yourself to become a piece of bread in the hands of the enemy.

 

Women who seduce: You would think a Christian woman has no business with seduction! There are so many filthy things women engage in these days that make you wonder... A married woman who flirts with other men or engages in an affair will not ascend the Lord's hill regardless of how talented she is. By the way, there is no reason good enough for a woman to have an affair. I am sure you are rolling your eyes and saying, "if only you have the slightest clue how lonely my world is" If your dressing suggests seduction, you have to understand that someone may be led astray just because you want to look good. I notice that there is a how of dressing for every occassion but not everyone is aware of this. If you dress seductively to church showing cleavage and skin, you can be sure that you are only making an appearance, you are not likely to get any close to where God is. You must have heard that men are visual beings, they get easily distracted by what they see. That is why you need to make sure you do not cause someone elses' downfall. 

 

We can only make it with God's help, but we need to ascend to the place where He is with purity and holiness.This week, I pray that as we quest for God, He will draw us near to Himself and grant us our heart desires, may we not seek Him in vain. May the grace to walk with Him in purity and holiness be present with each one us in Jesus name.

But the crowd thronged Him...

When you are in a desperate situation time seems to take forever. A minute wait seems like forever. Such was the case in the life of Jairus, the ruler of the Synagogue...

He had gotten the attention of the miracle working Jesus, He had agreed to come and rescue the dire situation, Jairus daughter laid dying on her sick bed. Luke 8:41-56 NKJV

"And, behold, there came a man named Jairus, and he was a ruler of the synagogue: and he fell down at Jesus' feet, and besought him that he would come into his house:
⁴² For he had one only daughter, about twelve years of age, and she lay a dying. But as he went the people thronged him.
⁴³ And a woman having an issue of blood twelve years, which had spent all her living upon physicians, neither could be healed of any,
⁴⁴ Came behind him, and touched the border of his garment: and immediately her issue of blood stanched.
⁴⁵ And Jesus said, Who touched me? When all denied, Peter and they that were with him said, Master, the multitude throng thee and press thee, and sayest thou, Who touched me?
⁴⁶ And Jesus said, Somebody hath touched me: for I perceive that virtue is gone out of me.
⁴⁷ And when the woman saw that she was not hid, she came trembling, and falling down before him, she declared unto him before all the people for what cause she had touched him, and how she was healed immediately.
⁴⁸ And he said unto her, Daughter, be of good comfort: thy faith hath made thee whole; go in peace.
⁴⁹ While he yet spake, there cometh one from the ruler of the synagogue's house, saying to him, Thy daughter is dead; trouble not the Master.
⁵⁰ But when Jesus heard it, he answered him, saying, Fear not: believe only, and she shall be made whole.
⁵¹ And when he came into the house, he suffered no man to go in, save Peter, and James, and John, and the father and the mother of the maiden.
⁵² And all wept, and bewailed her: but he said, Weep not; she is not dead, but sleepeth.
⁵³ And they laughed him to scorn, knowing that she was dead.
⁵⁴ And he put them all out, and took her by the hand, and called, saying, Maid, arise.
⁵⁵ And her spirit came again, and she arose straightway: and he commanded to give her meat.
⁵⁶ And her parents were astonished: but he charged them that they should tell no man what was done."


If Jairus could, he would have carried Jesus on his shoulder so there will not be any delay in getting to his daughter. But the crowd thronged Him... And the because we all have issues, the woman with the issue of blood, the crowd pressing for one thing or the other, oh if only Jesus could hurry up!

Alas! a messenger came from Jairus' home to deliver the evil report full of sadness and failed expectation, Jairus' daughter had died, even the servant encouraged his master not to trouble the Master. But in the midst of the chaos Jesus heard it...

That is an assurance that regardless of what you are going through,how many people are giving testimonies around you, how long that issue has been outstanding, Jesus will hear you. He gives time and priority to each one of us, the crowd, the woman with the issue of blood got her own miracle while so much was going on, you will get your miracle. I know you are saying "I am desperate and God seems to be slow" but He will come and He will not be delayed.

When doubters are passing nasty comments that make you feel like just disappearing to space, know that Jesus has heard you and He will make it to you. When there seems to be no precedence to assure you that God can come through in your peculiar situation, hold on, He will get to you."Our marriage is on the verge of collapse you lament, my husband has moved in with a strange woman, nobody has succeeded in getting through to him, you say" Jesus has heard you, just hold on, "my teenage daughter is suicidal for no reason" Jesus restored life back to the dead daughter of Jairus, he will not allow you to mourn yours.

Even though there are so many people pressing for answers to their prayers, God will hear you and deliver your own miracle only believe. The end of the week does not signify failure at achieving your goal, it only provides you space and time to regroup and refire. Even though the crowd throngs Jesus He will answer you.

Shalom!

Carefully Placed

Understanding the fact that God has a single purpose but He has chosen to use the variety at His disposal to accomplish it is crucial.

As a member of the body of Christ, God has deposited diverse gifts into diverse vessels so that at the end of the day all glory will belong unto Him once His goal is accomplished. Then it is important that less attention should be placed on title, positions and hierarchy. Apostle Paul used the analogy of the different body parts to show us the importance of each one of us within the body of Christ. The ears can not be jealous of the eye, neither can the feet of the head. Why? Regardless of how carefully and meticulously woven in complexity the brain is with the head, it can not do the work of the feet that are so close to dirt.

1 Corinthians 12: 3-18 The Message

^12-13 "You can easily enough see how this kind of thing works by looking no further than your own body. Your body has many parts—limbs, organs, cells—but no matter how many parts you can name, you’re still one body. It’s exactly the same with Christ. By means of his one Spirit, we all said good-bye to our partial and piecemeal lives. We each used to independently call our own shots, but then we entered into a large and integrated life in which he has the final say in everything. (This is what we proclaimed in word and action when we were baptized.) Each of us is now a part of his resurrection body, refreshed and sustained at one fountain—his Spirit—where we all come to drink. The old labels we once used to identify ourselves—labels like Jew or Greek, slave or free—are no longer useful. We need something larger, more comprehensive.
^14-18 I want you to think about how all this makes you more significant, not less. A body isn’t just a single part blown up into something huge. It’s all the different-but-similar parts arranged and functioning together. If Foot said, “I’m not elegant like Hand, embellished with rings; I guess I don’t belong to this body,” would that make it so? If Ear said, “I’m not beautiful like Eye, limpid and expressive; I don’t deserve a place on the head,” would you want to remove it from the body? If the body was all eye, how could it hear? If all ear, how could it smell? As it is, we see that God has carefully placed each part of the body right where he wanted it".

In a family unit called the home, the man has his own functions that his innate qualities and giftings allow only to carry out, so also does the woman. Ever since I have been married and I observe a few things God has given my husband to do,  I thank God for his life, I learn from him but I do not try to do things to compete with him in order to prove a point. As a woman, my husband blesses God for the grace of God upon my life and my abilities without any need to compete, discount or put me down.

Have you ever try to understand why spouses, friends, brethren and other people come into ourlives? There are people in our lives for reasons and seasons. It is important to understand the different seasons in ourlives so we can maximize the importance of the reasons why we have individuals around us. Learning from our mistakes, looking forward to apply life lessons ahead of us add to the growth,experience and maturity we attain.

I am very important in the lives of those God has surrounded me with and I live everyday to ensure that I do my bit. Let us appreciate what God has created us for, and let us focus solely on that without looking into another man's field. No matter how beautiful and expensive a pair of shoes are, if they are not your size, they are bound to disgrace you one of two ways; if they are too small they will hurt you or if they are too big they will make you fall, you will be luck if you do not lose a tooth in the process...lol

Ensure you occupy where God has carefully placed you and bring out your very best. God has given you your wife/husband for a purpose, put in your very best into their lives so that God will acknowledge your good work and promote you. If there is work to be done in your spouse's life, ask God for grace and commence the work and before you know it, you both will look back and rejoice in the fruit of your labor. You have been carefully placed, invest your best into where you are now.

Shalom!

Do It Afraid

Salvation is a personal experience, it is a process; someone leads you to the truth and you give your life to Christ and He becomes your Lord and saviour. However, after that, you have to maintain and sustain the relationship by working it out, improving communication,discovering and understanding the love of the Father.

It seems very easy to fellowship with others, mouth Christian lingo and do things just to please those around you or do it because that is how others do it. Over the years, I have found out that in walking with the Lord, you have to cultivate a personal relationship, understand how the Lord deals with you in all areas and refuse to compare yourself with others but willing to learn from everyone. You will have to go through your dying process yourself...

Phillipians 2:12 The Amplified

12 "Therefore, my dear ones, as you have always obeyed [my suggestions], so now, not only [with the enthusiasm you would show] in my presence but much more because I am absent, work out (cultivate, carry out to the goal, and fully complete) your own salvation with reverence and awe and trembling (self-distrust, [i]with serious caution, tenderness of conscience, watchfulness against temptation, timidly shrinking from whatever might offend God and discredit the name of Christ)".


The phase of working out your salvation with fear and trembling is broken down in this verse and I love it! May I point out somethings that speak to me here:

Work out: Cultivate, carryout to the goal, fully complete
This speaks to improving daily, determination, focus, avoiding distractions in any form, avoiding compromise, refusing to water down the truth you have come to believe and accept.

Fear & Trembling: self distrust, serious caution, tenderness of conscience, watchfulness against temptation,timidly shrinking from whatever might offend God and discredit the name of Christ!

This is my focus, how many of us feel comfortable about doing things that discredit the name of Christ just because we have "men of God" who do the same? How many of us are willing to give in to sexual pressure, cover up a pregnancy just to ensure we get married in church? How many times do we "cook" the books, give kick backs and follow the multitude to do wrong just because we have to "make it"? Do we get uncomfortable when we see a "brother, deacon or Pastor" beat up their wives just because the women do not listen? What are those things we would dare not touch years back but wink at them as "they wont stop me from getting to heaven" now...

Lying gets things done these days...but it is still on the list of reasons why people will go to hell, sycophancy gets you the title, slyness and hypocrisy gets you some favors...but the foundation of the Lord stands sure. For all of us who will make it to heaven, the fear (holy reverence and awe of God) must guide our everyday dealings and walk with God. Living each day as if it would be the last, a lie is a lie not "applying wisdom". If you are not going to marry the lady, do not lead her on, do not corner a man by getting pregnant for him, stop hanging out with thieves so you too can live comfortably.

When we get too bold and indulge in sin, we can not escape the judgement of God regardless of how many scriptures we can quote. The walk of faith requires fear and trembling. So do it afraid!

The Power of Consistency

The Power of Consistency

I woke up this morning with three words in my heart; growth, consistency and persistence. I knew I had to string them together in the place of prayer and meditation.
 Luke 18: 1-5 The Message :

1-3 "Jesus told them a story showing that it was necessary for them to pray consistently and never quit. He said, “There was once a judge in some city who never gave God a thought and cared nothing for people. A widow in that city kept after him: ‘My rights are being violated. Protect me!’

4-5 “He never gave her the time of day. But after this went on and on he said to himself, ‘I care nothing what God thinks, even less what people think. But because this widow won’t quit badgering me, I’d better do something and see that she gets justice—otherwise I’m going to end up beaten black-and-blue by her pounding.’”

Growth is defined as the act or process or a manner of growing; development, gradual increase. I love the last part of the definition, gradual increase. A lot of times we want to experience growth overnight, all of a sudden. We talk about the microwave generation, put it in and its out and ready. I have reduced my use of microwave oven because I am not always satisfied with the end result even though it is very fast. Growth in itself connotes a process of increasing over time.

Consistency is steadfast adherence to the same principles, course, form, condition of cohering or holding together and retaining form, solidity or firmness.

Persistence: doggedness, continued effort or existence.
God expects us to grow, increase and become better at everything we do and most especially our relationship. I was putting an equation together as I wrote this
Consistency + Persistence = Growth

How often are we in a hurry? Wanting to get to the end of the race and if what you are working at does not seem to yield immediate result, you dump it and go to the next new thing. Most times, that fails to yield immediate result and you dump and go. After 10 years of dumping and running you find out that you can not lay your hands or show any meaningful growth or productivity. Meanwhile, someone who has patiently stayed and worked at something will have result to show. This is not limited to career or business but also in our marriage relationship. How many times have you questioned the rightness of your choice in marrying your spouse? Perhaps your friend’s wife is quiet, keeps the house, hardly goes out? Your own wife is the life of any gathering, always involved in one thing or the other, you wonder why she can not be like your friend’s wife...According to your own judgement, your husband is the worse man on planet earth and you wonder why you had the misfortune of marrying him...hmmm you must have  heard the saying “one man’s garbage is another man’s treasure”, if you lose your heaven ordained spouse in the name of fault finding, you will never get it right till you rest in peace.

Marriage was designed to be a life time thing and when you walk and work with God, he gives you a life time guarantee on your relationship. Every relationship will go through its own phase of challenges, learning and flourishing. You can not omit one phase and expect to get to the other because the phases are interdependent,  one leads to the other just like the different phases of metamorphosis. Consistent prayer will give you the direction you need to travel when you are going through each phase. Not giving up too soon, keeping at it and believing in your mind that this man/woman is the right one God has given me and I can only grow when I have allowed patience to have its work in me.

Persistence: continued effort at listening, communicating, adjusting to each others strength and weaknesses as well as minding your manners, appreciation for the little things done for you all add up to help you retain your form or solidity in your marriage relationship. Little as these qualities seem, when they are lacking, over the years, resentment, disrespect, selfishness take over. Therefore, instead of working for each other's good you work to destroy the other person so you can win.

May I chip in here that in a marriage relationship, when you have your differences, quarrels, disagreements and your point is accepted at the end of the day, you have not won because it is not a battle or game, you have just successfully agreed on a way to move forward. Marriage is teamwork not competition. When you set out the goal you want to achieve and you have closed in on it, that is growth! It is not when you compare yourself with your friend, brethren, siblings or contemporaries that you measure growth. You must set goal and work hard towards it.  
Consistency guides your growth when you are persistent and you are able to achieve your set goal.
Shalom~!

Delilah - Woman on a mission

I have realized that entering every and any environment as a learner will make you better and wiser. I also discovered that learning from others help you avert unnecessary mistakes.
A few things I would like to share about Delilah and some positive qualities she used in caring out her devilish mission.
Judges 16:4-20

=> She conquered the heart of a destiny carrying man even though she lived in a valley
Lesson: God is able to bring you the right partner regardless of your location

=> She knew exactly what she wanted and she worked hard at getting it, she was frank and unpretentious about her intentions with Samson
Lesson: God has a purpose for your to actualize in the life of your husband, do not be distracted, focus and get it done.

=>She worked hard at achieving her goal; she pampered, pet, caressed him
Lesson: Give your husband the right treatment, do not allow another woman to win the trophy of his heart, be the best friend, lover and confident.

=>She was consistent and persistent
Lesson: She repeated the same question over and over again, she did not get discouraged by the initial tricks. She did not give up. How often do we give up when doing laudable things that can bring promotion? When we fail to get the desired result at the first attempt we throw in the towel, we need to persevere and exhibit patience.The fact that your husband has tried a couple of business ideas and failed does not mean you should allow him bury his head in shame, encourage him,back him up  and nudge him towards success

=>She ensured the abortion of Samson's destiny into the hands of the Philistines (same people he was raised to destroy)
Lesson: Stand in the place of prayer to ensure the successful delivery of your husband's destiny. Delilah had her reward, how much more will you too when you ensure God's will is established in your spouse's life.

There are so many other Delilah's in this world, they are waiting to destroy what God has invested in your husband but God is counting on you as a woman on a mission to destroy the plan of the enemy. Receive God's grace to overcome.

Back to the familiar?

I went to pick the mails and it was a huge pile. I sorted the bills from the flyers and I had just one card in the big pile that was a birthday card. I got home and placed the bills on the fireplace totally unsure where to turn my eyes, mind and thoughts. I have looked severally to the mountains, hills and everywhere, no help seems to be forthcoming. I am seriously thinking of other ways of making things work. If others are systematically committing fraud and by so doing making ends meet, maybe I should try at least until this siege is over... I came here with a degree in Economics and I have completed my Masters degree in same yet, it is from one entry level,menial job to another. I pay my tithes and it is almost insulting to listen every time to people share their testimonies about how they were considered for positions they were not qualified for...

We finished a three day fasting and praying program specifically for women trusting God for the fruit of the womb and the visiting pastor said, "go home, anoint your bed and God will do what He alone can do". It has been about a month since then and I just got my period again. I am so tempted to "help" myself and put an end to this ridicule...

The brother who had asked me for sex before marriage and I said no, is getting married to a sister in the church!. Can you imagine how that hurts? So does that mean this sister gave in or am I being foolish? Maybe I should have just done what everyone does to get answers and free myself from frustration and misery. I think am taking things too seriously and perhaps I should just do what Romans do since I live in Rome. It is either the other sister gave in to his request or something is wrong with me...

I have pledged and sowed just because I want God to touch this wayward, wandering man I call my husband. He seems to be getting worse with every act of faith I display, if he is not hitting me, he is ridiculing me before our friends. I have made up my mind to "take care of things" and everyone will hear at that time...

It is hard not to revert to what you are familiar with when faced with a difficult situation. The Patriarchs of old had their own challenges and we learn from each one about how they handled their peculiar situations. Let us consider John 21: 2-4 KJV

"There were together Simon Peter, and Thomas called Didymus, and Nathanael of Cana in Galilee, and the sons of Zebedee, and two other of his disciples.
³ Simon Peter saith unto them, I go a fishing. They say unto him, We also go with thee. They went forth, and entered into a ship immediately; and that night they caught nothing.
⁴ But when the morning was now come, Jesus stood on the shore: but the disciples knew not that it was Jesus".

Simon Peter, Jesus' right hand man, bold, courageous, willing to stand by the master in the face of challenge went back to the familiar. He was a fisher man when Jesus met him and perhaps he was expecting things to continue just the way they were when Jesus was around but life had become boring, no Jesus, miracle, influence or aura of the Lord Jesus, they were no longer invited to places where they were regarded as celebrities (Wedding in Cana of Galilee), as a matter of fact, the Pharisees were out for their heads and throats...Peter the rock, reverted back to human nature, solution and way of taking care of things. He went back fishing but the result was still the same; nothing, emptiness, failure...that is always the result when we go back to sort spiritual dilemma through human ability.

Since I do not know your situation and what you have been up against, it will be totally wrong to assume anything about your situation. However, I have a Father, a God who knows all things and He has not changed, He knows your name, He sees and cares and He wants you to trust Him once more.

May this new month bring about wholeness and completeness in all areas where you are tempted to help God or revert back to the familiar.

Blessings.

Uno Momento - One Moment Please!

Patience is a virtue but a very tough one to exhibit. Whether you are dealing with God or man, it is very challenging to be patient.

When you have a sore point in your life, it blinds you to every other thing that functions and runs smoothly in your life. Sometimes you assume it is given to just pass a professional exam at a sitting because you have studied. Some other time you plan that after the first six years of marriage you should be done with baby making business or latest by age 24 you should be happily married and have your future all set and awaiting fulfillment one step after the other... When things are 'slightly' out of place, we wonder where God is and if He no longer answers prayers. Is there anything wrong with having goals and expectations you ask? No, not at all, as a matter of fact, it is important to plan and have an organized thought about where and what you imagine yourself doing in a few years ahead.

However, our plans do not always work out the way we set them out to.  That is because God rules over the affairs of men! "They have come again o".... I have experienced a few hitches in my life in areas I thought I had everything figured out. One thing I have learned in my short years of sojourning on this terra firma is that you need to do your part and allow God to do His. How he will do it is strictly His own prerogative. I came across a scripture that I believe will cause your faith to rise and strengthen you in the face of whatever challenge you might be facing.

Romans 5:4-5 NKJV
"And patience, experience; and experience, hope:
5 And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us."

These very words sustain me daily and in the face of whatever I face, I have come to realize that I can not speed up the hand of God by getting anxious or wasting tomorrow's strength by exhibiting undue agitation today. If I am of marriageable age and am successful in other areas of my life, I should know that God is not mean or wicked, He will not allow me to waste my youthful days and not bring me to His perfect will for my life. I cannot go on the street and grab the next man/woman that comes my way, I will wait on Him and am assured He will cause my joy to be full.

Maybe I should yeild to pressure of having sex before marriage after all I am no longer a baby... It is not about you but about what God has laid down in His word. He has said I will not be barren therefore, I will learn patience, acquire experience that will enhance my hope. God will not allow me to go back to school, endure the rigour  of academics only to walk the street endlessly and become a nuisance to everyone around me. He is preparing a testimony that will resound and cause men to use me as a point of contact for good things.

I can tell you without an aorta of doubt that HOPE in God will never make put you to shame. Although it is extremely and excruciatingly painful sometimes but my soul will wait on you oh Lord!

Stolen Waters (Concluding part)

While I was enjoying my new fulfilled and complete life, my mind just went back to the sad, unpredictable days of barrenness. I felt my conscience prick me but I had to silence it right away. Nothing is going to make me go back to those days or feel guilty of how I got to where I am now. I used what I have to get exactly what I want. The only reason why I had an affair with Tope was because I could not have children. I saw his family pictures and he had three healthy boys within the space of three years, he had what I was looking for!. Tope had the right genes, I did not intend to break my home or marry him, he had what my life has been miserable about. He had what money or inheritance could not get me with Folami and I had to take care of myself in the game of life so I do not lose out. Folami's Mum was not going to be nice to me if I did not produce a child for her son. It is easy to judge someone else when you have not walked in their shoes. Now, I can be at peace and live happily ever after.

Life continued as usual and Omowonuola continued to grow, he is such a fun to watch through every stage of development. I was really happy seeing how lucky I have been. It has been one whole year and Wonuola will be turning one soon. I was planning his birthday bash and decided to go to the party store to check out his favourite Disney character for the party (Mickey Mouse). I was in the balloon aisle and for a strange reason I could sense someone staring at me. I looked up but I told myself my eyes were playing tricks on me. In the adjacent aisle to me was a gentleman with his wife and three boys. Unsure of whether the guy saw me or not, I told the cashier I was going to return to negotiate a better rate for the balloons.  To my heels I took, I literally ran out of the store. My heart was racing and I wanted to just go back home, it can not be true or real... I hurriedly left the store but on getting to the car, I noticed I had left my phone at the cash registered where I was taking pictures of some balloon arrangements... Arrrggggg!!! What am I going to do now? I had to get my phone before someone else walks away with it.  As I walked back into the store with Wonuola in his stroller, the guy was heading out and held the door for me, yes, it was Tope... I wanted to turn back and run but that would be too obvious. I smiled as he walked up to my son and I, his wife and children were with him. "Look who is here", he teasingly said, I managed a nervous smile. Tope introduced his amiable wife and lovely boys to me and I introduced my son to them, I told them it was a pleasure meeting them. My heart was racing and Tope bent down to look at Wonuola, "hi young man, you are as cute as a button". I was really getting uncomfortable but did not know what to say or do,  I just kept smiling in a sheepish manner.

Wonuola bailed me out as he started crying, "he must be hot I said, I need to leave. Kike, Tope's wife came over and said, "let me pick him up and sing for him, anyone would get cranky if strapped in a stroller in this hot weather". She smiled and unbuckled Wonuola. We went into the store and started strolling through the aisles.  I did not bargain for this and this was getting too close for comfort. I picked up my phone and thanked the cashier and said goodbye, all this while I avoided saying anything to Tope. Tope said out loud to no one in particular "I need to check one more thing in the hardware isle".  Kike invited me over to their hotel room the next day. I refused but she told me they were going to be around for another 2 weeks and I could bring Wonuola to play with her boys. She asked if I would like to give her my number, to that I could not say no, I gave it to her and she said it would be nice to chat with me. I said good bye to her and her boys, told her to say hello to Tope.

All the way home, I was feeling very guilty; she was the sweetest woman I have met in a long time. I might just consider myself dead if she ever discovers that I had an affair with her husband! How on earth do I explain this to myself? I can actually hear my mother say something like this "Doyinsola, how could you, that is greed, theft and adultery all rolled up in one, where did you get that trait from?".  I was so sad, without anyone saying a word to me, I could hear voices in my head. A thought just flashed through my mind, "could Wonuola be Tope's son?". I am dead, so dead.... My heart was racing and myriads of questions were going through my mind "Who do I share this with?, I felt I was loosing my mind, what was he doing in Houston, that mall especially?. Why was his wife being unduly nice to me? Were they out to get me? Why did his wife invite me to their hotel room? Were they up to something? I pulled up in front of the house and my husband was out there, he asked what the matter was with me and I said I was not feeling too fine. He took our son out of the car seat and brought him inside tossing him up and kissing him.

 Fatherhood has introduced me to a different side to Folami, he is just totally in love with his son and I. As I watched the two of them, I thought to myself, "I should get a DNA test done". How will I do that without our family doctor? What would be the excuse for having a DNA test? I need to get a grip I told myself. Later that evening, my phone rang, and sure thing, it was Kike calling. I wasn't sure what to talk to her about but she was. She asked what I do for a living, about books I have read and so on. Then she told me she wanted to tell me about the love of God. "Please, no born again stuff, I do not belong to that camp", I said to myself. She went on and said something like; "all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God". My heart was racing, did she know something? Was she trying to get a message across subtly?" Why is she tormenting me with the things she is saying? Well, at the end of our conversation, I thanked her and wanted to hang up without saying anything. She said, "Doyinsola, is there anything you want to ask or say?" I was upset, why should I have to say anything to you? I do not owe you any explanation so what are you talking about?" I was beginning to raise my voice.

Kike said as calmly as possible "Doyinsola, I am not asking you to make any confession, I was just asking if you wanted to ask anything about our discussion, I mean about knowing the Lord Jesus Christ more intimately". I was embarrassed and ashamed all at once. The guilty will always be afraid... Sorry Kike, I have to go and I hung up the phone. I was crying, nothing could console me. The problem was that I was not sure why I was crying I wanted to know more about this love of God, why would God love me with the atrocity I have committed? I cried and cried, The thoughts going on in my head was about my discussion with Kike and some of the things she said. If only this God has the slightest idea of what I have done and even Kike, am sure she will personally ask God to through me into the hottest part of hell... Folami was confused, unsure of what to say or how to make me feel better.  I decided to go to a walk in clinic.

I felt so sad and it was bordering on depression. The most difficult aspect of it all is that I could not confide in anyone. Nothing anyone said to me made sense. I was experiencing a pain in my heart that no medication could treat, then after a week of suffering, I decided to call Kike, we exchanged greetings and she apologized for our last misunderstanding. I told her it was alright but I wanted to meet with her where we would be able to discuss at length. We decided to meet at a coffee store not too far from their hotel room.  I told her about how I had been feeling since our last discussion, opening the scriptures to me, she told me about the love of God, the doom of sinners and the promise of eternal life to those who would believe in Jesus. I asked her what I needed to do to which she responded; "Doyinsola, with the heart man believes unto righteousness and with the mouth confesses unto eternal life. you only have to confess that you believe in Jesus and the work of reconciliation He did by dying on the cross of Calvary. Tell the Lord you know you are a sinner and that you have sinned against him. Ask Him to forgive your sins, that you will never sin anymore, ask the Lord to write your name in the lamb's book of life and accept you into His kingdom". I was balling my eyes out through out but I felt so much relief after, it was as if a load was taken off my chest. I kept crying throughout for two reasons;the depth of the heart of man and its cruetly and because of the depth of God’s love who freely forgives. I felt relieved instantly! Kike was truly happy for me, she hugged me and wiped my tears away. She told me she would recommend a church as well as books that could help me grow in my new faith. She also said I should read my bible daily and spend time with God.

As I returned home that afternoon, I was very happy. Folami was surprised at the sudden change when I got back home. He wondered where I went and what happened. I told him about my encounter and that I had given my life to Christ, he said he was happy for me if that was what made me happy. As I settled to prepare dinner, I saw the pile of mails and there was the mail from the walk-in clinic... It was as if I saw a ghost, I managed to finish dinner and hid inside the washroom to check the result...I was panic stricken, unsure of what it contained, then I let out a scream. Folami came knocking on the door and I told him I was fine. I read the result over and over again, are my eyes deceiving me? Omowonuola is Folami's son! I burst into tears again because God was giving me another chance totally undeserved, indeed He is a merciful God! I freshen up and went out to see Folami and Wonuola playing. I found my way to church on Sunday, everything seemed different and new but I was determined to seek and serve this God who has cleaned up my mess so mercifully. I have to live with the guilt of what I did and hopefully one day I will learn to forgive myself. I do not know how to relate with Kike, I am not going to tell her, I do not want to ruin her home neither mine. I do not know what I would have done if the child was Tope's, it would have been real devastating for me. It is just so hard to figure all this out.
 

I do not feel I have won, neither do I feel like I got away with anything. Rather I see the mercy of God,I see His love and His ability to make the best out of every situation. I would not suggest that anyone take this route, you may think it is fast and it gets you to where you are going but I indeed feel like I have gravel in my mouth at the thought of my wickedness. Hmmm, “the gift of God makes rich and adds no sorrow”. The only thing on my mind is: "why did I not wait for God to do what He was going to do anyway"? Why did I think I could help or assist God to bring to pass His plans for my life? It has been three months since I gave my life to Christ and surely, it has been worth it and am enjoying my growth and basking in the love of God.

 

Every time man attempts to assist God, he only manages to successfully create a mess. Waiting is never fun but if only we can develop and acquire the virtue of patience. Tell that to a woman who has been married without a child. With God all things are possible, so I choose to wait till He makes me praise in the earth and cause my glory to ring out.  Our culture hounds and terrifies a woman who is trusting God for the fruit of the womb. As Christians, let us not discuss or try to find a reason why a woman has not been able to conceive but rather let us help them by praying and reminding God to bring His promise to pass in their lives. He has said none shall be barren...

I hope you have been blessed by this. I need to mention that this is more than my imagination, the theme is true and real but I have been able to adjust it by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit....

 

 A couple of questions:

i) What should Doyinsola do as a new Christan: should she tell her husband about her affair with Tope?

ii)If Tope decides to be vindictive and tells his wife, how would you react if you were Kike?

I welcome your comments on this blog so that anyone who visits can be blessed by your insightful contributions.

Blessed beyond a curse!.