Still on In-law Affairs...

Even though I find some issues amusing when it comes to Mother/Daughter in-law that is not to trivialize or discount the importance and impact this relationship has on the lives of those who happen to have not too pleasant relationships.

The bible is our reference point and we have to take our cues from it. Ruth and her mother in-law are a perfect example of how in-laws should relate. 

Ruth 2:11-12 NKJV
"And Boaz answered and said to her, “It has been fully reported to me, all that you have done for your mother-in-law since the death of your husband, and how you have left your father and your mother and the land of your birth, and have come to a people whom you did not know before. ¹² The Lord repay your work, and a full reward be given you by the Lord God of Israel, under whose wings you have come for refuge.”


 Every mother wants the best for their sons, however, once your son is married, you need to evaluate how much involvement you need to have in his marital relationship. Every woman young or old must always try the shoe on the other foot so she knows how it feels. Some 25 - 30 years ago, you probably were a relatively young wife with challenges. Perhaps you had not too nice in-laws and your culture played a very important role in making your life miserable because of unreasonable demands and expectations from your in-laws. Now is the time to right the cultural wrong that makes the life of young women miserable with their in-laws. You do not have to make another person's life miserable because "I endured more than that when I was your age". Let love spread abroad in your heart and be a true example of a godly mother.

If you are a young woman married to another woman's son, do not approach your in-laws with a biased mind, negative attitude and wrongly preconceived notions. If you belong to the class of young women who want their mothers-in-law dead so they do not have to share their husband with her, then remember that you too have a mother, if you have brother(s) then expect what you sow...if your mother in-law is a notorious witch, you have to still be grateful to God and to her for not killing the wonderful man you are married to. Approach your mother in-law respectfully and treat her the way you would want your own mother to be treated by your husband or your brother's wife.


Women are known to be possessive of their sons and husbands you both want the same thing for this single individual you both love dearly. The way to handle your differences is not to make the man choose but to sincerely find a common ground where you will both work things out without making his life hell on earth. For every mother in-law; your son should not have to choose you over his wife because of your demands and expectations. Your role can never be substituted for, you are one in a million, your son can only have one Mother and that is the unique role God has given YOU. Your son is mature, he is married and he has his own life to live, you can not dictate how to run his home regardless of how inexperienced his wife is. God has given you the role to guide and pray for their success in their relationship and that is what you need to do. If you are physically able to be  a blessing to them by caring for their children, thank God for your life, if you visit them, do not frustrate another woman's daughter by being unreasonably difficult. You probably have your own daughter who is married to someone else's son, treat another woman's daughter the way you would appreciate yours treated. You should not have a rival in your daughter-in-law. Fulfill your role in such a way that your son, his wife and your grandchildren will constantly pray for you for being a graceful and blessed woman. My prayer to every mother-in-law is that you will reap the fruit of your labour, am sure you will be happy to say Amen if you have done well. Naomi, had lost her own biological children, yet she paved the path of a glorious destiny for Ruth, what will you be remembered for by your daughter in-law?

If you are a young woman who has issues with her mother in-law, remember Ruth, a woman who was willing to exercise her faith and link her destiny to the lineage of our Lord Jesus. From boldly leaving her people and culture and following a woman who had no future as it were, to gleaning in Boaz's field, she was a different woman with another spirit! Her mother in-law and all around knew how kind she had been, what is your goal and aim for treating your mother in-law the way you do? Why do you not put your best foot forward and let your good works be spoken of. If your mother in-law is in a village somewhere uncertain of where her next meal is coming from, and you are enjoying your husband's prosperity without any thought of her welfare, you need to rethink...If your husband has severed his link with his family in order to maintain peace, you are sowing a seed, in due time you will reap the reward. God has placed women in homes to be a positive influence, link and make a difference.

You know how to make your husband do what you want, set the right boundaries with your husband's help where his mother is concerned. If the right boundaries are in place and you are free from in-law oppression, do not push your own boundaries. Let posterity speak positively about you as well as bless you. If your mother in-law is mean and nasty, be nice and kind towards her, honor her as the bible has enjoined us and let God himself reward her every action. You too will grow old one day and I hope you will look back at this period in your life and be happy but if you have not done well, you would wish then...
If your mother in-law is overbearing, let your husband be the one to put her in her rightful place, never let a mother's heart curse you for your mischief. When your friends tell you, "you are too slow" let your pace be determined by God. You may need a good support system down the road and I hope your work will speak in your favour...

Relationship with in-laws does not have to be war-like;disagreements,misunderstandings, mean and negative attitudes especially in home where Christ is proclaimed. Do everything to be at peace even with your in-laws. I have seen women who have won over their difficult, hard to please and impossible in-laws. The devil will not gain a foot hold in your home, exercise wisdom and patience. God has called us to peace. For every one in a difficult situation unsure of how to navigate the path of peace, may Jesus the Prince of Peace reign in your home and grant you wisdom from above to handle every raging storm in Jesus name.