Solid Women, Step Up to the Plate

You need to take the time to develop yourself; spiritually, intellectually and socially. If you are overly dependent on your spouse in any area of your marriage, you are making yourself a liability to him/her. You too need to improve in areas of communication, does your spouse have to clean up after every mess? Do you say things you do not mean, you commit yourself unnecessarily to prove what point? Are you rude in the way you come across to people and you have to apologize over and over because you are yet to  Do you hide when it comes to interacting with others? Do you attend church/fellowship only because your spouse goes there? God has created you as an individual to complement someone else not to be a shadow of another person.

A few years ago, my children asked me if I have a mind of my own...I said yes, I understood where they were coming from and going. They would ask me a question and go and ask their father the same thing. My husband would always ask them "have you asked Mummy? and what did she say". When they found that they could not use "divide and conquer method" they started asking me if I do everything the way their Dad wants it. The only time you are permitted not to have your own mind is when are aiming to maintain a single front in the home. That is, you agree on the same point and speak the same language.

When it comes to knowing what you do, do you have a job, are you able to make and keep friends? Can you be on your own, think logically and reasonably or does "Mine or honey" have to come before you can take decisions? It is important to always collaborate, be on the same page but when push comes to shove can your spouse depend on you to make good decisions in their absence?

As good as submission or love is, its got to have a character of its own totally conformable to the word of God. Proverbs 31:11-21
he heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.
The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.

12 She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.

13 She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.

14 She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar.

15 She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.

16 She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.

17 She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.

18 She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.

19 She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.

20 She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.

21 She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet.

Your spouse is proud of you when you are able to cover his inadequacies. Every real woman is a plus to her man, why should you be any different? If you are already

Cultivation 101

CULTIVATION 101

Good day everyone. Its the middle of the week already! How far? Hope things are shaping up well and falling into place according to plan? I was thinking of what to write this morning and sowing and reaping came to mind. I am sure you have heard it over and over that whatever you sow you will reap.

However, there are times that what you do not sow tends to grow on your soil or portion of land...that is what is called WEED. In agriculture science in those days, my teacher taught us that weed is an unwanted plant growing among planted crops. It contends with planted crops for nutrients and water. Well, it is the same thing in relationships. You have to consciously cultivate your relationship not only to make your seed grow but also to prevent unwanted crop that is, weed from going there. You need to constantly and consciously your relationship of  strife, dishonesty, infidelity, selfishness and abuse.

In cultivating your land, you have to ensure the right implements are used, if your cutlass or hoe does not function, it will take a longer time to get things done. However, if you are into mechanized farming, you use tractor and other mechanical instruments on your farm, your harvest is bound to be plentiful all things being equal. You know the physical mimics the spiritual. When you consciously invest in your home; love, prayer, time, respect, discipline, selflessness and attention you will reap a blissful home.

How do I cultivate my relationship?

**Add the fertilizer of COURTESY; please and thank you
**APPRECIATION; thank your spouse for fulfilling their role in the relationship, thank your wife for cooking and taking care of the children, thank your husband for your home, for paying rent and fuelling the car as well as upkeep. **GIVING:give impromptu gifts, big or small, doing thoughtful things around the house.
**Do not take the other party for granted; when you neglect your land, weed will grow.
**COMUNICATE,COMMUNICATE and COMMUNICATE about everything. Do not assume.
If you have neglected any of these things start over again, if you have never attempted, try. It may not yield the result you want immediately but with time there will be a positive change. What were those things you used to do when you were newly married? Kissing, dancing, holding hands and the good big word SEX. It is time to get back to doing those things. You will be amazed how beautiful your garden will become when you make effort to cultivate it.

Hosea 10:12 KJV

"Sow to yourselves in righteousness, reap in mercy; break up your fallow ground; for it is time to seek the Lord, till He comes and rain righteousness upon you".

May your harvest of love, peace and joy be bountiful in Jesus name.

Strength in Challenge

This young man was determined to preserve his father's inheritance, it did not matter what he was facing he was not prepared to allow the lion to prey on the few sheep left. He called on his God and He delivered him and the sheep, on another occasion, it was the bear who came calling and deliverance came once again through his God. I speak about David, a man who faced his challenges squarely. The circumstances of his birth, his position in the family were not too favourable, however, he distinguished himself from his siblings through diligence and won the heart of God through praise. 

God identified him in the place of insignificance because of his dedication, faithfulness and reliance on the ability of God to deliver him in the toughest of situations. Little did he know that the qualities that he demonstrated then would be needed for the palace. He was not one who complained when he faced challenges, he praised his way through, he stated that his help is only in God. When you face challenges, do you whine, cry, throw up your hands in defeat or do you try to understand the purpose of what you are going through?

The challenges you face today are the building blocks for where God is taking you to. When David faced Goliath, his confidence came from the fight he had won before when he battled the lion and the bear. 1 Samuel 17:34-37

 ^"But David said to Saul, “Your servant used to keep his father’s sheep, and when a lion or a bear came and took a lamb out of the flock, ³⁵ I went out after it and struck it, and delivered the lamb from its mouth; and when it arose against me, I caught it by its beard, and struck and killed it. ³⁶ Your servant has killed both lion and bear; and this uncircumcised Philistine will be like one of them, seeing he has defied the armies of the living God.” ³⁷ Moreover David said, “The Lord, who delivered me from the paw of the lion and from the paw of the bear, He will deliver me from the hand of this Philistine.”

Do not see your present challenge as a problem but see it as a stepping stone to greater heights. I have discovered that every experience that you go through is preparing you for the future. If you avoid your challenge now, it will only become more difficult when you encounter it again at another level because you still will. God is with you, so when your work seem overwhelming, learn the tricks to doing it, when your relationship is challenging, try to understand yourself first and then the other party. When sickness seems to bother your or your loved one, hold on to the everlasting arms that do not fail. Challenges are not meant to destroy us, rather they are meant to toughen us and build us up for the glorious future ahead. I love the man David, the qualities in his life are for consideration in another write up. However, I can not but talk about how his small beginning prepared him for a great future that led him to the throne and gave him a lasting kingdom. David was committed, caring, a great leader and one who feared, reverenced and depended on the Lord.

What are you facing? Have you found yourself in a situation that you never expected or dreamed about? Are you querying your very existence or faith in God? Be encouraged and know that the steadfast love of God never ceases regardless of what you face. You will come out, strong and better. Even when your beginning is small, God is able to cause your latter end to greatly increase. You can not fight life's battle by your strength, wisdom, witt or ability. God loves you and He wants to fight your battle for you while you hold your peace. If you have strayed away from Him and you find yourself fight alone, return to the Shepherd and Bishop of your soul. New heights will bring new challenges and so you have to be prepared to face your challenges headlong, trusting God to fight for you. He understands what you are going through and He is prepared to strengthen you through the challenge you are facing. 

Shalom!

 

Tale of Two Women

The book of 2 Kings 4 is an interesting one, it chronicles different accounts of faith. Our focus here is about the two women in the early part of the passage. There are two stories of two women; one used what she had to receive by faith while the other one touched God with her faith to receive.

The wife of the son of prophet. 2 Kings 4:1-7

She had a need, she cried and to the right person. Elisha did not get pulled in to her pity party, no stories, he asked her direct questions that had to do with her situation. We all have needs however, how do we go about seeking for help? Do you whine, complain about what you do not have, how unfair life has been etc or do you ask for help and trust God for the right solution/counsel?  He asked her what she had at home. In order to attain fulfillment at home, work or ministry, you have to identify what you have and start from there. It does not matter how insignificant or meagre you think your potential is, that is what you need to start with. This woman did not despise what was in her house, she had enough faith to launch forth into abundance after paying off her debt.
What are you despising in your home or life? For God to work with you or solve your problem, He oftentimes start from where you are and with what you have. Apply your faith to jump start that miracle.

The Shunnamite woman whose story is found in 2 Kings 4:8-36, long story, but worth reading. I will share the points that ministered to me through her faith filled life. She was quite discerning and observant, she observed a man of God, decides to extend hospitality to him even to the extent of designating a room in her house with the consent of her husband. She was provided a decent and honorable abode for Elisha to rest whenever she was in her neighborhood. Extremely content, she did not wear her challenge across her forehead. She made up her mind that regardless of whether God does what she has been asking Him or not, she will still do good. She experienced a colossal loss of her only and long awaited son, yet she was still able to see by faith that "It is well" and it ended up being well with her. She was not unduly emotional or irrational. She made the most of what she had, she was married to an "old man". Perhaps the old man had no understanding of time, yet she still respected him and his leadership. Maybe they had both waited and age had crept in on the man. She refused to allow Gehazi go with her because she probably was privy to some of his flaws but just decided to look away from them. She accepted the will of God, manifested in His love and Care for her. She was able to obtain what she longed for through her dedication and commitment to God. I believe God is our Father who understands where we are in our different walk with Him.

I pray that this new week, you will experience the hand of God that will move on your behalf for favour and grace to erase every longstanding challenges.
Some people only need faith to get by on a daily basis but others use faith to obtain solutions to long standing issues.

Blessings.

Show me your friend

Friendship is a very important aspect of life, therefore it is important to carefully and prayerfully select your friend(s). A lot of people have problems today because of friends they have confided in. This is not in anyway encouraging secretiveness,however, birds of the same feather they say flock together. What do you discuss with your friends? A lot of women and men have lost treasures (spouses) because they decided to listen to the comments of their friends about their wives or husbands.

A woman who begs her husband to give her feeding allowance comes over to your end and ask you if you do not like fresh things because she only eats fresh fish. You begin to wonder why your lot has to be challenging, your friends are eating the best thing and you can only afford frozen chicken...you only need to see such individuals at close quarters to know that she truly needs to be cynical towards you in order to feel good. The truth of the matter is that some friends feel better about themselves by putting you down. One of the way you test your friend is by the comments they pass about you; in your presence and behind your back. If you have a friend who makes you feel bad with yourself by their comments and attitude, then you need to re evaluate such friendship.

If your friend can not defend you in your absence or if he/she is willing to give anything up to hear "your gist" or talk to others about things that you have shared with them, they are to be avoided. Friends are supposed to defend friends. When you have issues in your home, who do you confide in? Do your friends encourage you to do what is morally and ethically wrong while quoting "everyone does it"? Are you everyone? What about friends who encourage you to misbehave at home? "Women require a level of force, women can not be trusted, women are spendthrifts, if you give a woman an inch she is likely to take a mile, women will override you if you try to be nice to them". You therefore decide to be a "man" like your friend(s), you start mistreating your wife.

What do you have in common with your friend? Your friends should share your values and faith. You may want to debate that however, I have come to realize that indeed birds of the same feather will flock together. An eagle has no business with a vulture.  Eagles soar high up and that is God's expectation for you. You need to ask yourself some important questions "am I able to be myself in company of my friend or do I try to impress them"? "do my friend(s) encourage spiritual as well as all round growth? How do you react to situation after consulting your friend? Do your friends encourage you to be the best you can be? Well, here is what the bible says about friendship; Proverbs 12:26 NKJV

"The righteous should choose his friends carefully,
For the way of the wicked leads them astray".


Wishing you God's guidance as you audit your friend list. By the way, I have a very special friend who would do just about anything, Jesus is the best friend anyone can have.

Blessings.