You need to take the time to develop yourself; spiritually, intellectually and socially. If you are overly dependent on your spouse in any area of your marriage, you are making yourself a liability to him/her. You too need to improve in areas of communication, does your spouse have to clean up after every mess? Do you say things you do not mean, you commit yourself unnecessarily to prove what point? Are you rude in the way you come across to people and you have to apologize over and over because you are yet to Do you hide when it comes to interacting with others? Do you attend church/fellowship only because your spouse goes there? God has created you as an individual to complement someone else not to be a shadow of another person.
A few years ago, my children asked me if I have a mind of my own...I said yes, I understood where they were coming from and going. They would ask me a question and go and ask their father the same thing. My husband would always ask them "have you asked Mummy? and what did she say". When they found that they could not use "divide and conquer method" they started asking me if I do everything the way their Dad wants it. The only time you are permitted not to have your own mind is when are aiming to maintain a single front in the home. That is, you agree on the same point and speak the same language.
When it comes to knowing what you do, do you have a job, are you able to make and keep friends? Can you be on your own, think logically and reasonably or does "Mine or honey" have to come before you can take decisions? It is important to always collaborate, be on the same page but when push comes to shove can your spouse depend on you to make good decisions in their absence?
As good as submission or love is, its got to have a character of its own totally conformable to the word of God. Proverbs 31:11-21
he heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.
The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.
12 She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.
13 She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.
14 She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar.
15 She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.
16 She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.
17 She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.
18 She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.
19 She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.
20 She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.
21 She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet.
Your spouse is proud of you when you are able to cover his inadequacies. Every real woman is a plus to her man, why should you be any different? If you are already
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