From where you are...

Blessed day to you all in Jesus name. 

From where you are...

I discovered that God's thinking is totally different from ours, yet, we still attempt to force Him into our mould. God operates from the end to the beginning, He knows what is to come and prepares you for it. God deals with you from where you are. That woman, a widow, wife of one of the sons of prophet cried unto the man of God in her desperation, she could no longer put up a front, things were getting out of hand "the secret was about to leak".

2Kings 4:1-2 NIV

"The wife of a man from the company(A) of the prophets cried out to Elisha, “Your servant my husband is dead, and you know that he revered the Lord. But now his creditor(B) is coming to take my two boys as his slaves.”

2 Elisha replied to her, “How can I help you? Tell me, what do you have in your house?”

She appealed to the emotions of Elisha, she presented her credentials but the simple question the Man of God asked was "how can I help you?, What do you have in the house?" When you seek help do you just expect people to give you, give you and give you through life? What are you willing to contribute to your own life? From your parents house to your husband or wife's house depending on how you approach life, you live daily wondering what others can do for you. Regardless of how many wealthy relations you may have, if you are not willing to start from where you are and grow, you will always depend on the kindness of others to survive.

For every need in your life, you must be willing to start from where you are! There is PROCESS to everything that will stand the test of time. That process yu may think will take a long time but that builds you and your fundation. It sounded somewhat cold for the MOG (Man of God) to be asking a poor widow in a desperate situation what she had at home eh? Why did he not ask the well to do member of his church to bless her, or why did he not dip into the welfare account to meet her urgent, desperate need? Well, all that would have helped only if he wanted her to remain in a desperate situation, be among the poor who would always be in the church, make himself a little god unto her or refuse to work with God to get her to a prosperous future. Those who will go far in life will not accept bandage solutions to their problems but would rather go through process.

I ask every man and woman where are you today? Jobless, the children are sick there is no money for medication, I am planning to get married but I have no money, two sisters have been "snatched" from because I have no money to marry hem on time,  all my friends are proud because they have good jobs, we are just managing, the economy is really bad and these days everybody is vain, my parents did not leave me a large inheritance, I do not have the same opportunities as my friends who were born with silver spoons in their mouths, I lost my parents when I was young, I grew up with a mean Uncle/Aunty, my step mother was a witch...the excuses are endless if you decide to go that route. 

You will have to start from where you are whether you are trusting God for the fruit of the womb, breakthrough, success in your examination or career change. Work with what you have regardless of how little you may think it is. The woman became a big time business woman after working with what "little oil" she had. What business are you aspiring to start but you have little or no capital? Is there a way to start small without your grand ideas? People will always owe you, cheat you and so on. That is not enough excuse to languish in poverty or live on hand out. Start from somewhere. "My husband does not want me to work outside", well,  can you work inside? Everyman loves the Proverbs 31 woman, you can start from where you are.

Where are you in your home? Are your bags at the door and you are ready to quit because it is no longer worth the stress and pain? There are endless possibilities....start from where you are to rebuild the broken walls of love, communication, godliness, humility, selflessness, devotion and commitment to your home. I have no doubt in my mind that your excuses for considering quitting are genuine and worth it, but in a few years time, it would not weigh much on the scale of life and its many happenings. God is stillin the business of moulding and remoulding. Start from where you are and let the light shine upon your darkness. Your testimony is due. 

Therefore, whatever it is you are desperate about, I decree in the name of Jesus that The Lord will attend unto your needs and make a way for you in Jesus name. I put a miracle on schedule that God will change your story today for better. I write and declare this in the name of the King of kings, I sign it with his signet, the blood of Jesus, I declare it irrevocable in Jesus name. 

Blessings!

Sweet Nothings

Sweet Nothings...

Do you still talk? I remember those days when my spouse and I were courting, a quick conversation will last about 3hours! When we really talk you are looking at about 5hours...ask me the main topics and em.....those long talks were just "sweet nothings". Fast forward to about two years into marriage, when the reality of marriage and the challenges set in and I discovered that there wasn't really anything to talk about but the trials, challenges that just would not go away.

It really hit me one evening when we were going somewhere and I found myself sitting in such a way that I was only focussing on the things outside the car. The first few years of marriage, I used to sit in such a way that my eyes were always on my husband when he was driving, we would gist, joke and laugh. All of a sudden it hit me, even though we were driving in the same car, my back was turned on him, there wasn't anything to joke about because I felt like the whole thing was a joke! It was too tough to handle...

I would always ask myself "seriously, where did I go wrong?" I expected more out of marriage than what I was getting, the excitement seemed to be fading and I did not find a whole lot to talk about. Then that Saturday evening, I started laughing at myself and how I was sitting in the car. My husband had to ask, "why are you laughing so hard?" I asked him if he remembered how we used to enjoy riding together, going for rides without any particular destination in mind. We would share stories about growing up, challenges, stupid moments, favourite places we've been and then places we would love to go. He nodded with a smile, we both realized without saying anything that we needed to start talking about our challenges and to the appropriate source too, God.

Don't get me wrong we were praying all this while, but I have come to realize that challenges have a way of getting us into a zombie motion, doing things mechanically.

We would talk about favourite scripture passages, we would argue about certain issues, I love debating topics, my passion comes out, my husband on the other hand will focus on the points, dishing them out methodically like a teacher. I love talking with him...but I had to tell myself there is something to talk about regardless of where we are and what we are experiencing. In talking to your spouse, you both can take the conversation further by talking to The Lord. You will be amazed at how fast He will take away the distraction when you are both talking to God.

Where do I start from you ask?
**Ask about your spouse's day and sincerely listen to them.
**Talk about things you both like
**Talk about the word of God, not to chastise the other party but to find delight in then word
**Talk about their favourite things to do, sports or shopping,cooking,etc
**Revisit old dreams and ideas
**Attempt to debate topics you differ in opinion and set the rules not to get upset
**Understand there will be no winner or loser when you have differing opinions about issues.
**Talk about the small word with a big weight SEX....

Keep talking, rekindle the love and passion in your relationship

Playing Dad

The role of a Dad is completely different from that of a husband. I can hear somebody go: “that is obvious”. Yes it seems obvious, but is it really? For many relationships, a husband is who you become before you become a Dad. But then, does it always work out in that order? That is actually a narrow concept. One that predicts we get into marriage and biologically fathers a child; and that child now calls you “Dad”. Isn’t that how it is supposed to be? Have a good foundation as husband and wife and bear children. Nothing is wrong with this concept except that the whole burden of being a Dad cannot be that oversimplified.

Being a Dad, which I would also equate to being a good father can be achieved without being married. Before you start imagining that this view supports out of wedlock pregnancy, I will quickly point out that being a Dad is not the same as fathering a child. "If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?" Matthew 7:11 this quote is from one Dad (Jesus Christ) about another Dad (God the Father). They were never married yet they are the greatest example of Dad we can ever see.

We can get to be a Dad biologically and yet we could still achieve that title by adoption but the greatest factor in anyone being a Dad is you. Please note that I am not trying to qualify the type of Dad you may be. The focus of this piece is not to get into that but to just focus on the responsibilities of being a Dad. And by saying “responsibilities” I realize I am going into a very difficult terrain. I realized it is a strong word which may have being used many times, especially on those who may not have one or two value components of the word. But I promise I am not going to go there, in fact I will reduce to the barest minimum my usage of the word.

Now that we have steered away from that hot button word, let’s take a look at the Dads in your life. By taking a look, I am sure some imagery or memories may come up. For example, God Almighty is a Dad that laid the foundation for our redemption, and Jesus Christ is the Dad that ensured that the plan worked by his sacrifice. But what do you think about your earthly Dad, or your adopted Dad? What do you think about your pastor who you call “Daddy” or your husband who seemed to have been playing the role of the father of your children long enough? What do you think about other people of influence in your life? The more you think the more images, memories and emotions that may come to you. The more you tend to now add some adjectives to qualify the “Dad” they are or were. Take note I had mentioned that it is not for me to determine what Dad you are dealing with.

I am not sure how we came about that word DAD but it has stuck with us for the right reasons. I must also admit that I picked it over other synonyms like father for my own selfish reason. Come to think of it, DAD can also be an acronym for Dedication Attention Devotion. See, it works well for my purpose… and why not? These qualities are in fact what differentiate a Dad from say…a baby father, boyfriend or even a husband. There is a burden of responsibilities (here we go again) placed on making a family. Such burden is now being eroded by the way the world is attempting to redefine family and marriage.

Men ought to have great devotion to God and their families. Devotion is our undivided allegiance to God and all the values He stands for as expressed in Colossians 3:17. As the devotion of the father to us is expressed in John 3:16 so do we need to be devoted to Him and His will. From devotion to God we draw strength and inspiration Philippians 4:13. By our devotion to our family we draw encouragement and we build the bond of love. A man’s devotion could be expressed in being available for his family at all times. A little inconvenience of fixing your child’s bike or taking them to a ball game could build the spirit of service and dedication in your child. Most importantly as men, we need to be the Pastors of our home. As God continues to inspire you, you need to share such inspiration with your family.

Attention is described as a cognitive function, however its impact goes beyond the cognitive. There are many relationships that have the common complaints of the other partners as “he does not listen to what I have to say”. Giving attention to your family cannot be overstressed. Attention is a great component of communication within the family. A marriage without great communication is on the precipice of destruction. Yes many things such as issues at work, finances and health issues may cause divided attention. Men need to dig deep to give their attention so that the family does not slip away into break up. And yes, that big issue with a small name (SEX) is part of giving attention. I must confess, I’ve had to feel some lack of attention on  certain occasion my wife delays on this issue. How are these two related…I have no clue but they border on pressing some emotional buttons in us. In other words if attention is that important to our sex lives, imagine what the damage may be if there is no attention. A prolonged lack of attention could produce an unplanned affair. Let’s start by taking a break every day, look each other in the face and say, “I love you”.

Yes I know, Dedication is quite similar to devotion. In fact a dictionary defines it as “selfless devotion”. What fascinates me about the value of dedication is the longevity. There is no dedication without a prolong devotion. With dedication, things don’t go out of vogue. With dedication, your wife remains your focal point and there should not be fly girl on the side. Proverbs 5:15 encourage us to “drink from your own cistern”. Another common phenomenon in today’s family life is the Absentee Dad or Runaway Dad. These are terrible adjectives to the great role of Dad. One can only earn this label if there is no dedication.
A question to ask ourselves as men is: am I just playing Dad or am I truly working hard to be Dedicated Attentive and Devoted (DAD)? Keep working!

Intact Praise

Tiredness, weariness, challenges or difficulties are not good enough excuses to stop praising and worshipping God. Paul & Silas had every reason to weep, mourn, self pity and be downcast because of their situation, however, they chose to magnify God above their situation. After all, they had been beaten, disgraced and publicly embarrassed for this common faith and their wounds were bleeding and just before they started praising, they probably felt the sight of their stripes throbbing. 

I have no doubt in my mind that they both were about spiking a fever due to infections in their open wounds. However, they decided to invite God into their situation, they took their worship to another level. Their reaction got God's personal attention, He did not send an angel but He came to eyeball their situation Himself. You know in His presence there is fullness of joy and where His spirit is, there is liberty. Chains and fetters snapped physically and spiritually at the sight of the Ancient of days, the prison was shaken to its foundation. What a God! Everyone who chooses to be radical and crazy for their stand for Christ always, always experience extreme testimonies, remember the 3 Hebrew boys! 

Acts 16:25

The jailor took a look at the situation and passed himself a death sentence, he wanted to make the work of his superiors simpler by saving them the time spent in cross examining him. It is unheard of that prisoners sit tight in their cells after a prison break! Paul and  Silas told the poor jailor not to do the unthinkable but rather to accept pardon for His sins. When heaven visits protocols are broken! The jailor took the prisoners to his own house, washed their wounds, risked his job and life, it did not matter at this point, he has seen the move of the invisible God and experienced a new dimension of God's power. He asked from the prisoners how he could be free, what an irony, they led him to the way of life.

Before you occupy the corner of self pity because of your situation, think of how to keep your praise intact and get God's attention! Do not lose your praise because of your prison, let it lead to freedom by looking unto the Rock that never fails. Remember Paul and Silas the men who moved the heaven and earth, even their prison foundation. They praised God, not in a pleasant situation or luxurious arena but behind bars, with bleeding stripes and weakened bodies! Your situation will yet give way to sound of joy and victory.

Blessings!

Valley of the Shadow Pt.4

I woke up to the sound of Mummy's voice "Ajoke, Omotolani", she tapped me on the shoulder. I opened an eye unsure of where I was.  I was quite weak and I attempted to sit up in bed but I slumped right back. "Mummy please take care of my son", I managed to mutter. My mother flipped and yelled "You are going to raise your child, I will not have to do that for you, you will not die but live, what kind of rubbish statement is that? I have watched you carry on these past few days, I think I need you to realize I do not find it funny that you are alluding to the fact that you are going to die. You will never be a source of sorrow for me. I raised you and you will live to raise your child". At this point she broke down crying and I joined her too. "Mummy, I am not sure what is going on with me" I said sobbing. "Even the best of us have our moments of vulnerability. There are a few things going on and I think you are just overwhelmed. Get up and eat something light, take a warm shower and you will feel refreshed" she finished. I did as she suggested and I felt quite better. We decided to watch a movie together that night.  Theo returned late and was quite surprised to see me in a better mood. He was slightly confused and as he made his way to the room, I followed him smiling. I asked him how his day went, if he was ready for dinner and thanked him for all his "care". He looked at me strangely as I smiled and was like the perfect wife. When he saw his cellphone on the dresser, he looked even more frazzled. He said "thanks dear, my day was very tiring, lots of meetings and decisions to make. I am quite exhausted, I will take my shower and retire, I am have no appetite" he said without looking straight at me. I kissed him on the forehead and said, "I will run the bath for you and you can just relax", I went into the bathroom and turned on the tap to run his bath. I looked at the woman in the  mirror and was not sure what to make of her. My heart was tearing apart at the thought of what was going on in my life, but I know I need to stand up and do something. I was not sure what I am able to do but I have made up my mind to stand up for myself without crying. Mum and I had a great evening, Chidie was fast asleep without any fuss. After the lights were out, I slipped into bed but I was wide awake, my heart was racing like a mustang, I could not sleep, I had a million things going on in my mind. After about two hours of staring into the ceiling, I heard a ding on my phone, a text message just came in for me. I looked at my phone and it was from the young  lady who makes confectionaries on my street, I wonder why she would be sending me a text at 11pm. I looked at the text and there was an attachment, it was an invitation to an event, I decided I would deal with it in the morning. Meanwhile, I watched Theo, stealing glances at me, he assumed I was asleep because of the way I curled up facing him. I avoided his troubled eyes, I knew he wanted to ask me a question but I was not sure I wanted to face whatever he had to say. He turned to me and whispered, "Tolani, Tolani", I responded and he apologized for waking me up. "No worries" I said. "Darling, am so glad you are doing much better, kind of returning to your usual self" he managed to say. I knew he was expecting me to say something but I just muttered "hmmm". The whole room was quiet again. "Good night honey" he said and I responded "happy night rest Theo". He faced the opposite direction, my eyes were shut as if I was sleeping about 15minutes after I heard him snoring away. I myself yielded to the weight of my eyes and fell asleep. I woke up in the morning and I freshened up and made my way downstairs, Mum had made breakfast and she commented on how lovely I looked. She then mentioned that she had to go back home as she did not plan to stay this long. My countenance dropped immediately but I summoned up courage not to cry. Theo came downstairs and joined us at the table, I informed him my mother was going back home and he said "Mummy, why so soon, you are a life saver!" My Mum smiled and said, "thank you Theo dear but I have to go home and change my clothes and also put a few things in order. I did not plan to spend more than a night or two". Theo opened his brief case and gave Mummy some crisp notes, I am not quite sure but it was a decent amount of money. Mummy prayed for him and both of us. The driver later went to drop her at home. I thought for a moment what I was going to do with my life, I answered myself it is my life and I should be in charge, God helping me. I sat down to check out the message from my neighbour, it was an invitation to a woman's program in her church. I wanted to delete the message and my heart skipped a beat. I was not sure why but I made up my mind I was going to attend that meeting. I then realized that I have not been to church in a while. My phone rang and it was Cynthia calling, the confectionary lady down the street. I hesitated to pick the phone, then I picked it and we exchanged pleasantries. "Sis Tolani, I hope you got my text, it was a reminder to the earlier one" she said. "Oh, yes I got it but I do  not remember getting the first one, but I am trying to adjust my schedule to accommodate it" I said. "It will be such a delight to see you around, the Woman who will be ministering at the program is such a blessing, you are bound to be challenged, encouraged and motivated to do well with yourself" she ended with a tone of assurance. "Ok, I will see you on Saturday, thanks for inviting me" I said as I hung up the phone. Saturday morning arrived without any challenges around the house, I was thinking of making a volte face about the whole idea. I asked myself why I needed to go attend another church when I had my own church and I made all the possible excuses in the world in my head about why I did not need to worry myself about going. However, half an hour to the start time, I just gathered myself together, dressed up and gave my house help instruction about Chidie and his bedtime. I had mentioned to Theo that I was going for a program that day and he said neither good nor bad to me about it. As I stepped into the auditorium of the church, there was high praise, and all the women where looking fresh and happy. It was indeed good company. As I sat quietly in a corner, I saw Cynthia approaching me with a big smile and she hugged me tightly. "What a pleasure to have you here Sister Tolani" "the pleasure is all mine, thank you for inviting me" I responded. We sat down together and for a moment, it was as if I stepped out of a very dark room into a well illuminated and radiant place. We prayed and then listened to the word. The invited guest was unapologetic in delivering the word of God. She asked a few questions and I if I had never known the Lord I would have said someone had mentioned a thing or two about me to her.  Cynthia, the lady who invited me for the program did not know anything was going on in my home, as a matter of fact, no one knows what I have been going through. The message was on for one whole hour yet, we were not bored. The woman mentioned some key things; when you allow the deceit of riches to fool you into believing you do not desperately need God, you will begin to experience a void that only God can fill. When you get too comfortable to pray you will become too encumbered with problems and finally she said "if you resort to crying in the face of problems you will become a weakling. Every woman created by God has been endowed with God's capacity and ability to bear so much only when such a woman relies on God". By the end of the service, we were asked to rededicate our lives to Christ, I did not need anyone to tell me twice that I was far from home...I was determined to return to the source of my strength and to the Bishop of my soul. After that night we were intimated about the details of their women's group, I knew without a doubt I needed to be a part of that group so that the life radiating in there can radiate in the darkness surrounding me to drive it away.  I got home a bit late, Theo got home ahead of me and he could not help but ask "what did they give you at the program, you just seem to light up the whole room with your radiance". Honey, it was such a powerful meeting, I have not had that feeling in almost two years! I excitedly responded. "I am so happy for you" he answered curtly. I went on to share some of the things the Pastor shared but it was as if I was getting on Theo's nerves. Well, this joy that I have found, l intend to keep it, I said to no one in particular. "Give me a break Tolani, does it mean you have  lost your joy?" Theo said with some irritation in his voice. "I got a mail today and I was going to share the details with you, remember the Canadian Permanent Visa we processed some years ago, I think we have been accepted and we are to do some medical test before we can get the visa, well the details are in the envelope on the dining table" he said as he walked away. I did not know what to say, I held the document in my hands and read through so quickly. I went to check on Chidie, he turned around as if he could sense that I was watching him. I held him and kissed him and tried to do some baby talk with him. In no time he was fast asleep in my hand. I held him and sang for him. I did not want him to wake up too soon, so I held him to my chest, with the excitement in my heart about the meeting and the message about the Permanent Visa, I was not sure how to put everything in the right perspective. I laid on Chidie's bed and slept off while trying to pet him quietly. I woke up at about two in the morning. I tiptoed into my bed to avoid waking Theo but I noticed the door to the bathroom was open and the light was reflecting into the room. I heard him giggling,I checked the time again and I knew he was on his phone with someone. Then I heard "do not worry, your dreams will soon be realized, have I ever promised and not fulfill? I was stuck to the spot and unable to move, then I heard him coming out of the bathroom, he was shocked to see me standing in the middle of the room. To be continued. I welcome your thoughts and comments on this story. Blessings