Sweet Nothings

Sweet Nothings...

Do you still talk? I remember those days when my spouse and I were courting, a quick conversation will last about 3hours! When we really talk you are looking at about 5hours...ask me the main topics and em.....those long talks were just "sweet nothings". Fast forward to about two years into marriage, when the reality of marriage and the challenges set in and I discovered that there wasn't really anything to talk about but the trials, challenges that just would not go away.

It really hit me one evening when we were going somewhere and I found myself sitting in such a way that I was only focussing on the things outside the car. The first few years of marriage, I used to sit in such a way that my eyes were always on my husband when he was driving, we would gist, joke and laugh. All of a sudden it hit me, even though we were driving in the same car, my back was turned on him, there wasn't anything to joke about because I felt like the whole thing was a joke! It was too tough to handle...

I would always ask myself "seriously, where did I go wrong?" I expected more out of marriage than what I was getting, the excitement seemed to be fading and I did not find a whole lot to talk about. Then that Saturday evening, I started laughing at myself and how I was sitting in the car. My husband had to ask, "why are you laughing so hard?" I asked him if he remembered how we used to enjoy riding together, going for rides without any particular destination in mind. We would share stories about growing up, challenges, stupid moments, favourite places we've been and then places we would love to go. He nodded with a smile, we both realized without saying anything that we needed to start talking about our challenges and to the appropriate source too, God.

Don't get me wrong we were praying all this while, but I have come to realize that challenges have a way of getting us into a zombie motion, doing things mechanically.

We would talk about favourite scripture passages, we would argue about certain issues, I love debating topics, my passion comes out, my husband on the other hand will focus on the points, dishing them out methodically like a teacher. I love talking with him...but I had to tell myself there is something to talk about regardless of where we are and what we are experiencing. In talking to your spouse, you both can take the conversation further by talking to The Lord. You will be amazed at how fast He will take away the distraction when you are both talking to God.

Where do I start from you ask?
**Ask about your spouse's day and sincerely listen to them.
**Talk about things you both like
**Talk about the word of God, not to chastise the other party but to find delight in then word
**Talk about their favourite things to do, sports or shopping,cooking,etc
**Revisit old dreams and ideas
**Attempt to debate topics you differ in opinion and set the rules not to get upset
**Understand there will be no winner or loser when you have differing opinions about issues.
**Talk about the small word with a big weight SEX....

Keep talking, rekindle the love and passion in your relationship