I
pulled up front of the popular coffee shop Friday evening, I could see
Amina was sitting in a corner. We exchanged greetings and went to order
our beverages. Amina had a big bright smile and I was quite curious to
know what was going on with her but I was not going to probe....Amina
was quick to update me about what has been going on with her and
her hubby, she was excited that her hubby thought it was a good idea
to iron out some of their thorny issues.
"Amina, there are a few things you need to understand about sex, it is God's idea for man's pleasure, to be enjoyed only within the confines of marriage. God expects
you to become one with your spouse physically, emotionally and spiritually because sex is more than the union of two flesh. For everyone who engages in sex, it is a spiritual thing, that is why you have to be careful and not lay the wrong foundation in the name of fun. A lot of people want to have sex before marriage, then they get married and do not want to have sex anymore where it is God-ordained and conducive to do so. When you put the cart before the horse, there is bound to be tilting and trouble", I paused and watched her focusing seriously on what I was saying.
A man is physiologically wired to be stimulated by what he sees, that is why sex is one of the things on his mind. A man gets distracted when he sees a woman's exposed body, legs, arms, breast. As a wife, you need to understand that love making, sex or any
other name you call intimacy with your man serves as a glue that improves your relationship. It is not only about him but about both of you. You need to be an active participant otherwise you will feel cheated,used to satisfy his selfish purpose which is not true.... Amina smiled and said, "I did not mean to interrupt but most of the time, I am tired and I hardly feel like making love...I just do it because it seems to be the only way to maintain peace..." she finished raising her eyebrow as if she can not be bothered.
I understand that position, it was not meant to be so according to God's order. A lot of women suffer in silence due to their cultural orientation, a woman is not supposed to be overly interested in sex and when you do it, it is meant to be for your husband's pleasure alone. That is so, so wrong. God has not made the 'woman race' to suffer, he has created us to bring balance to the whole world. So you should gather godly and right information about enjoying sex the way God meant it. Communication is key, to enjoy your sex life,if you have challenges communicating everyday stuff, how much more do you think it will be when it comes to intimacy.
"Amina, there are a few things you need to understand about sex, it is God's idea for man's pleasure, to be enjoyed only within the confines of marriage. God expects
you to become one with your spouse physically, emotionally and spiritually because sex is more than the union of two flesh. For everyone who engages in sex, it is a spiritual thing, that is why you have to be careful and not lay the wrong foundation in the name of fun. A lot of people want to have sex before marriage, then they get married and do not want to have sex anymore where it is God-ordained and conducive to do so. When you put the cart before the horse, there is bound to be tilting and trouble", I paused and watched her focusing seriously on what I was saying.
A man is physiologically wired to be stimulated by what he sees, that is why sex is one of the things on his mind. A man gets distracted when he sees a woman's exposed body, legs, arms, breast. As a wife, you need to understand that love making, sex or any
other name you call intimacy with your man serves as a glue that improves your relationship. It is not only about him but about both of you. You need to be an active participant otherwise you will feel cheated,used to satisfy his selfish purpose which is not true.... Amina smiled and said, "I did not mean to interrupt but most of the time, I am tired and I hardly feel like making love...I just do it because it seems to be the only way to maintain peace..." she finished raising her eyebrow as if she can not be bothered.
I understand that position, it was not meant to be so according to God's order. A lot of women suffer in silence due to their cultural orientation, a woman is not supposed to be overly interested in sex and when you do it, it is meant to be for your husband's pleasure alone. That is so, so wrong. God has not made the 'woman race' to suffer, he has created us to bring balance to the whole world. So you should gather godly and right information about enjoying sex the way God meant it. Communication is key, to enjoy your sex life,if you have challenges communicating everyday stuff, how much more do you think it will be when it comes to intimacy.
A few things though:
- Understand your body and feel comfortable in it
- Know what you enjoy in sex and communicate it to your spouse
- Never blame your husband or ridicule him about sex
- It has to be team work.
- You too can initiate sex, he does not have to be the only one
- Yes, you will not always be in the mood but exhibit good manners please.
- If you have ever desired to wear skimpy clothes, this is the best time you are allowed to do so.
Do you also know you can pray if your sex life is not exciting? I
know...am still very much born again. Some of us came into marriage with
past hurts such as abuse, wrong understanding and preconceived notion
that sex is a bad thing. So we have never really been able to get past
our past. God is able to heal you permanently if you had a nasty
experience about sex in the past. If you have always thought sex is a
nasty thing, you need to re orientate yourself so you can enjoy your
home and marriage relationship. Ask God for grace on days when you do
not feel like it but you know your spouse would love to make love.
Preparation for sex differs between a man and a woman. For a woman,
it is an all day thing, she needs to think about it. A good man will
also assist with care of young children so that she is not worn out at
the end of her busy day. It is amazing how energizing a nice bath can
be, cool if you live in a cold climate, cold if you live in the tropics,
it has a way of awaking your senses...Once you have had a shower, you
are likely to feel better. Try to keep your to do list off your mind,
you can not really multitask when it comes to sex...lol
Few things for the men... A man should be as kind as possible to have a willing, cooperative and happy participant in his wife. Ensure that you are not always asking for sex on a day when she is extremely busy. When you are friends, then it is easy to schedule and work around your shedules. Sometimes sex could be a therapy after a long day's work. It all depends on how you both work it out.
Few things for the men... A man should be as kind as possible to have a willing, cooperative and happy participant in his wife. Ensure that you are not always asking for sex on a day when she is extremely busy. When you are friends, then it is easy to schedule and work around your shedules. Sometimes sex could be a therapy after a long day's work. It all depends on how you both work it out.
"Thank you so much, I really have not been able to confide in anyone just so that I do not appear as if I am too carnal. But I have learnt a couple of things" she concluded with a bashful smile. We finished our beverages and walked to our cars. It was such a nice way to end my evening. I do hope you have enjoyed this story, as a Christian woman, sex is an important part of your duty to maintain a good home. I listened to a man of God, who said, "you are to dress to kill your husband at home, kill him before they kill him outside". A man is not being carnal by asking for sex from his wife, a man satisfied at home will hardly be tempted outside. Do all you can to keep your water from being polluted!
Feel free to forward questions to possibilitiesdivine@gmail.com.
No comments:
Post a Comment