We met when we finished high school and we both knew we were meant to be together. We were friends without any doubt, we had a lot in common, he enjoyed reading, he enjoyed a bit of adventure and so did I. I was the first to give my life to Christ in my second year of University. He hesitated about doing same, he thought he was not the 'church type' and I was ready to give up the relationship because I knew if we did not have the same goal, we had no business being together. We went for a summer break,we were out of touch for 3 months by the time we resumed school, I noticed obvious changes in Theo. They were positive changes, he had become an active member of Campus Christian Fellowship. It was interesting how involved he had become within a short period of time. He was the one who was always complaining about not getting to spend enough time with me, but with him becoming a member of the prayer group, it was really a challenge to spend evenings together the way we used. He became committed and devoted to the things of God and this reflected in the way he related to me and his friends. The difference in him was such a lovely one.
I welcomed the change because he became a lot more caring and he looked to fulfill an every aspect of the word of God he read. We started having our bible study time together, we would each focus on a passage individually, study and share with each other whenever we have the opportunity to meet. By the time we finished university, we knew we were getting married even though he had not proposed officially. Theo came over to my station in the North where I was working in a high school. He brought gift items for me, a lovely wrist watch, Capri pants, the kind of T-shirts I love and lots of cookies and chocolates. My friends were excited and we enjoyed every minute Theo was around, he is the life of a party, jovial, funny and very kind.
Two years after the end of our youth service, Theo proposed to me and I accepted. I was dying to hear him pop the question, when he eventually did, I was on cloud nine. We started planning and everything went well. He comes from a relatively modest background but God has blessed him in the last couple of years.He made sure I had everything I wanted and to crown it all, we had our honeymoon in Paris. I was excited and every day just brought better things. Six months after our wedding, I discovered I was pregnant and it was as if Theo had just won a jackpot. He made sure I did not have to do any house work, he hired household staff who helped around the house. The arrival of our first son launched a new dimension of blessing, Theo left his work place to start his own business. It was as if the whole nation was awaiting the opening of the business. It was such a great success.
With every promotion comes its peculiar challenges. Theo was hardly home, meetings across the country and we hardly had time to fellowship. I had so much to learn with the new baby, I was missing Theo so much. I was looking forward to us sharing the joy of parenthood but he was hardly ever at home. He kept telling me, darling this is what we prayed for, God has answered our prayers, let us not be ungrateful by complaining. That was like a very polite way of telling me not to express what I was feeling. Before I knew it, I had slipped into postpartum depression. It was such a dark, challenging time for me, everybody around me wondered what was wrong with me, money was not the problem, I had what an average woman will die to have, what could possibly be wrong with me? Well, I have noticed a huge change in my husband and I could not share it with anyone.
I saw a text message from a lady, more like a sextext , she mentioned how she had a great time after their meeting in Abuja, she was flirting with him and following the thread, I saw that Theo was not an unwilling participant. He went along with the flirtation and told her he was looking forward to another great time the week after. I saw that it was a little more than temptation, he was enjoying it. I was not sure how to bring it up with Theo, with my diagnosis of depression, he was almost treating me as if I had mental illness and could not handle life. I felt like screaming but if I do he would say, you are overworking yourself and you are getting sick, however, my silence is killing me!
I hardly attend any social gathering, my fellowship time was out of the window, I just didnt feel comfortable having people around me. After a while, I started having funny thoughts, I thought about killing myself so I could be out of the mess that was looming. Who do I share this with? I was fading into oblivion and nobody seems to see it. My friends look at me and they say am lucky, I live in a mansion and have the best rides, my family members thank God for my life every time they come to my house, there is more than enough and Theo is a big spender. He gives generously, so nobody thinks I have a care in the world.
We were or should I say, I was planning our son's first birthday, Theo said, "I will arrive from a trip that morning, sorry sweetie, I can not be a part of this planning, do whatever you seem right, just let me know how much you need". It was as if he slapped me right across my face, I could not take it anymore, I flared up and told him where to go with his money, he looked utterly confused. "Is anything the matter babe?" I raved, yelled and screamed at the top of my lungs and he was just staring at me. I felt stupid and crazy, he must be gloating and saying "she's gone nuts". Without any doubt I was looking my mind and no one around me would believe I was still anywhere near sanity. Theo got up, kissed me gently on the cheek and said, "I will call the doctor so you can go over today, you seem stressed. If it wont upset you, I will ask Kellie to contact an event planner to handle the birthday stress" and he walked out to his car.
I sat down on the couch and slipped unto the floor, I was loosing it all! My husband was slipping out of my hands, I was loosing my mind and I can not handle the stress that should give me joy. Tears were rolling down my eyes and I sat down helplessly. There was nothing else he could say but to set up an appointment for me to see the Doctor?
To be continued...
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