I was
hurrying home after my meeting with my director to break the good news to my
husband, as I sat on the bus, it felt as if time was creeping and not moving, I
could scarcely contain my excitement. My company had just gone through a
restructuring, some people were let go, others were transferred but I got a
promotion! It was not just any ordinary promotion, I finished my Project
Management course and I had my very first challenge. I had worked on
several projects within the company but never as a PM. This feels good! The pay
was way beyond what I could have boldly negotiated, life is good!
I am a 36 year old woman that is a perfect description of success, I finished
my first degree at age 21 with honors, I immediately went for my Masters Degree
because my father belongs to the school of thought that every illiterate has a
degree now. So for me to prove that I have accomplished something academically,
I had to finish my post graduate program. By the time I was done, I got a job
with one American pharmaceutical company and I was very happy. There was a
component of my job that involves traveling and I loved it, it made my job too
good to be true.
It was during one of the conferences that I attended in the states that I met
my husband, "walking brains"... extremely brilliant. He made a
presentation at the conference and it would be pride not to let him know how
excellently well he made his points. He speaks "Queens English", he
reminds me of Professor Wole Soyinka, Nobel Laurent from our great mother land.
When I went to talk to him, he had a charming smile and said, are you from out
of town to which I smiled and nodded, he said please do not hurry away, I would
like to talk to you. Well, from that conversation one thing led to another, I
enjoy his company, his manners and his quiet nature and well, the rest is
history, I am now Mrs Doyinsola Fesobi. Folami Fesobi is an only child of very
successful parents, the story of his parents is quite encouraging, it is
the story of 'rags to riches'.
Folami is a very focused and determined guy, he has not allowed his parents'
success to distract him from accomplishing his own purpose in life. He would
often quote a Chinese proverb; "No matter how tall your father is, you
still have to do your own growing up". This is his natural response
whenever anyone tells him he is heir to an inheritance and he does not need to
work as hard as he does. Folami's parents love him and because he is brilliant,
charming and well mannered, they believe his wife should not only be
beautiful and very well mannered but out of this world! His mother will often
say, "Folami is a well brought up child and he himself has added value to
his own life, only the best is good for him". He had told me how his
mother scrutinizes every girl that hangs out with him. She has a lot of say in
his life...
I have just been lucky with Folami's parents and they probably transfer their
love for their son to me. We have been married for 51/2 years and we are yet to
have a baby. His mother had been very understanding the first couple of years,
but right now, she seems to hate me. The last time we met at Daddy's birthday
(Folami's Dad) she had called me into the study and told me a few harsh words
"Doyinsola, I would like to beg you if I have offended you in anyway, I
would give you whatever you want but please, I must not die without seeing my
grand children". You need to leave your job, so your body can relax and
accommodate a baby, you have been a career woman, running after what I do not
know. I do not pray that my labour be in vain, it is important that you listen
so that you can have children. But in case you want to choose your career over
what is important to Daddy and I, I want you to know that you are not the only
girl who can give us a grand child through Folami".
I knelt down and said "sorry ma, thank you', not sure of how to describe
my feelings at the moment. I was upset, sad and confused, I did not bargain for
this kind of life where I will have to be 'looking for a child'. All my life I
have never had to look or struggle for anything. I have always had what I
wanted, I am successful and so is my husband but this lack in our lives is
beyond what either of us can handle. Folami noticed the change in my disposition
but refused to ask me any question, he probably had guessed that his Mum
"had a word with me". What did Mum mean when she said "you are
not the only who can give us a grand child through Folami"? " I do
hope this woman is not trying to sow any wicked seed in my husband" I
thought. I became afraid all of a sudden, I have never known my self to
be a worry wart but my world would crash if I just look on and do not figure
out something. I cried myself to sleep that night but I knew I had to do more
than that.
The following morning I heard Folami's phone ring, he picked it up and said
"Mummy, I said I will handle that,, bye" and he hung up. We were
experiencing our own tension and his mother was not making things any easy...
we left the house and did not say a single word to each other throughout the
forty five minutes drive to work. I got to my office and was totally
distracted. After work, Evelyn and I met for our book club meeting, every
Thursday, about 6 of us meet at a Restaurant, each person brings a book they
have read and recommend it to the group, we choose 2 that we will read for the
month and share the lessons and thrill from the books.
After the meeting, Evelyn asked what the matter was with me as I was not my
usual self. Evelyn and I have been friends for over 10years, at a time we were
room mates. She knows so much about me and I about her, she understands me
perfectly well to the point of being able to read me like a book. I spoke with
her after the meeting and she was so sorry for me. I decided to pick up some
items for dinner at a grocery store, I got home fixed dinner and went to bed
early. Folami was sitting in front of the television when I got home and I
could tell that he would not want to be disturbed as his favourite team was
playing soccer that night. I told him dinner was served and went to bed. Gradually we were experiencing emotional strain in our relationship and for the most part, we just eat together at dinner time and that was it. Folami would opt for conferences sometimes two weeks at a stretch! I was getting resentful about not being able to have a child and I was getting desperate.
I woke up to use the washroom and discovered that my i-phone was not charged, I
plugged it in but saw that there were email messages for me. On checking my
messages I found a friend request from facebook, the name looked familiar and I
decided to check it out, needless to say I was on facebook for another
11/2hours checking out pictures and profiles. By the time I went back bed it
was already 0310hours in the morning. I knew I probably should call early to
inform my boss that I was going to work from home. My boss found it unusual
that I would work from home on a Tuesday to which I responded I didnt want to
call in sick but I needed some rest.
My friend whose request I responded to on facebook was an old friend, a good
friend I went to high school and university with. He is the CEO of a very
successful company, he is now an architect.Tope did not look like a serious guy when
we were in school but he has polished up himself and seems to be doing well. We
chatted for a while and exchanged numbers, he has a beautiful family, a pretty
wife and 3 boys. They are very close in age and they were all dressed the same
way. I looked at each picture on his page and could see contentment and
happiness. "Who would not be content with a family like this"?
I seem to mutter to myself. I did not do too much office work that day, I
responded to emails, gave my boss the agenda for our meeting for Thursday and
that was it. My mind was really preoccupied it was not even funny.
Folami came back from work and was surprised that I was home, I told him I
worked from home, I set dinner on the table and we both ate in silence. I am
beginning to get uncomfortable with the silence that we operate in these days
but really, there was nothing much to talk about. I was surprised that Folami
could not stand up to his Mum the last time she said those harsh words to me, I
am not sure what she is asking him to do but I have been around long enough to
know his Mum is up to something...The single ding from my phone everytime I
have a new message or email was very audible, I didnt want to check
immediately, I wanted to be sure I had enough time to check and respond to the
message. So after dinner, I cleared up the table, cleaned and went to my room.
I logged on to facebook only to find out that Tope had sent me 6 messages... I
checked and responded to his last message and then saw him log on. We talked
for a long time and time seemed to freeze. Then I asked him how old his boys
were and he told me 6, 5 and 4. I exclaimed, to which he responded, "you
know me.... am an action man"! I laughed. He told me he loves the sound of
my laughter, he asked if I was still as beautiful as university days, I told
him he has to be the judge of that. Tope asked me if I had a webcam, I said
'no", he asked if I could get one because he wanted to see my face
whenever we chatted. I found that flattering and lo and behold I went to get a
webcam. Since then we would chat for long hours, sometimes 3 or 4 hours, I just noticed
that the world around me did not matter anymore, Tope and I can not remember
why we severed our relationship in University. We had such an enviable
relationship that most of our friends were sure we were going to get married.
Tope works out and the last time we chatted he had just came in from the gym,
his biceps are "to die for"... He looks so, my goodness!!! I found
myself daydreaming about when we were together in university and how much great
times we had together!!!.
To be continued...
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